I have to say that I love my friends, they always seem to know how to let a guy down and disrespect me, and hey what are friends for? Here's the deal I sent out a grip of shouts to peps all around the way and I got a lot of "yeah I'll hit you back" or "hell yeah let's hook up and do something." The thing was I just wanted to see who really gives a damn about me and not really to my surprise just one did and that was my love. Right now I'm so pissed off at everyone right now simply because I always go all out for all of them and they really never really there for me. Although there is a select few that do hold close, two really and one of them is a total flake, I can count on what he says about %50 of the time. Everyone else likes to judge me, talk about me behind my back, and say how shitty of a person I am.
Ah good times, I have this kind of noise happen quite a bit and if this happens all the time you’re probably thinking they might have a point but that's not the case. I have taken what people say in to account very seriously and changed how I went about myself around them and all people for a long time, treated everyone with more kindness and respect, even went out of my way for my friends numerous times but I was walked on even more and talk about worse.
So sets in my apathy meh, I still think that everyone should be treated with respect and loads of kindness, I just have to realize that I'm going to always be dogged for who I am, no matter what I do. I just have to perpetually ninja my way through life, be cool, avoid noise, and let karma do its thing even though life shouldn’t be like this.
I know this is a little unfair to some as some of my friends aren’t that close to begin with but I still hold them close. All of my friends have experienced some massive event in my life that was so amazing and unreal, I will never forget. Whereas to them I was just someone passing through their lives and this hurts. Any more I'm quite sad and there isn't really anyone I can turn to because I'm always thought of as a liar or horribly misunderstood, which leaves me just frustrated and annoyed on top of my sad state.
Life keeps going and I have to go with it, for I can only rely on myself to make my life better. And that’s something I do try to do very hard. Always something will be fighting, wronging, blocking, hurting me but keep it coming because death comes for us all eventually and until then I’m going to keep trying to have a good life even though it’s filled with hardship.