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Creationist Dollar
15 years ago
General
See my exposition/gallery website!
Info on prices and skillset there, as well as my best examples.
http://h1.ripway.com/ucnux/XuncuFla.....teV2/home.html
http://h1.ripway.com/ucnux/Flash%20.....uncu_flash.htm
Info on prices and skillset there, as well as my best examples.
http://h1.ripway.com/ucnux/XuncuFla.....teV2/home.html
http://h1.ripway.com/ucnux/Flash%20.....uncu_flash.htm
Once upon a time, next to Bill Gate's ass cheek, the ink forming George Washington's face became sentient.
Well, thought the lips, this is intresting. I'm ink. And my purpose is to be lips. Interesting how I am chemically optimal for depicting lips.
And look at that! There's more ink! They're chemically similar to me, but they depict other facial features. Hello, Nose! And what's all this fiberous stuff, quite astounding; linen, cotton, other stuff-- paper, is it? And it's so happily bonded to me. My my, isn't that something.
And-and--- amazing, what's that darkness all around me! It's huge and so different! I can't tell where it begins and where it ends! What shay you, chaps? Walla? Wally? Wallet? Yes, that's the ticket; we'll call it a wallet! Where are we, anyways? In a pocket? An my word, what is that warmth? Ohh, how it comforts me... Bill Gate's Ass Cheek! Wow! What a loving and wonderful being, to have made the wallet, paper, and existance, out of love, just for us.
The eye had been listening (he's friends with the ear), and had managed to develop techniques to accomplish what he could not do, like blink rapidly to mimic speech: Wait, wait a tic; what was that?
The lips replied; well, I was just saying, how improbably well-suited for our existance must this wallet and paper be for our existance. Logic dictates that the wallet and paper and pants were created with us in mind. And I can feel all this warmth of Holy Bill Gate's Right Ass Cheek.
Wait a minute, said the eye; how is that at all logical? Also, it's a "Holy" now? And right ass cheek? I think this bloke is left-handed, for starters...
But of course. After all, he MUST be right, not wrong; because if he was not right, then how and why did the Allmighty Ass create us?
Now hold on, on what evidence do you assume that we were created by such an ass?
Well, can't you just feel His warmth, and know, in your Ink of Inks, that he radiates that warmth just for us, just as we Inks were created in George Washington's Image, as we were, not to long ago?
Alright, now that is patently ridiculus; where do you get that we were blown out of His Ass "not too long ago" here?
Well, I don't see any evidence of any of us Inks being more than a few years old, nor do I remember anything before being next to the ass, nor being anything else before being ink. Therefore, the Ass Pull happened, therefore, Allmighty Sphincter created us! Praise be to the Ass!
Look, I can see pocket lint from here, what may be a jolly rancher, and a 1945 penny; yes, our date says 2010. Clearly, the penny and oruselves have some kind of relationship in our past--
WHAT?! THat's disgusting! How can you even say such a thing?! Do you think we were metal before? And that's Lincolin; euuuuuuuuuuuuugh! The one true image is Washington!
No, not directly before us, but what we represent must have been metals, perhaps other things of subjective value, and we might've ended up becoming ink on paper, selectively because it's easier to carry paper than money--- plus, look! I can see other dollar bills; Jefferson, Lincolin's a five, ect; what makes you think it was specificaly George Washingon's image is the "one true image?"
HA! So you DO think we were metal that JUSt became paper and ink! How can you not understand that the Ass specifically designed us and inteded all of us to be George Washington, and live in His Pocket?
Well, for one thing, the ear's been listening to the outside, and it seems that this Bill Gates is not just an ass, and also but one of many beings, and that we are but one of billions of dollars this guy has, so why should he care specifically about one blotch of ink on ONE dollar- and if the numbers are anything to go by, not a particularly valuable dollar at that- OR think that the wallet and the pants were created JUST for us on this one dollar?
HEATHEN! How dare you! Do you want to be Lost in the Couch Cushion for all eternety, even after you get put in the washing machine and disingtergrated?
..... what.
Clearly, all the Ass wants us is to follow in his Windy Ways and praise him, so that our eternal, unending souls may one day be conveted into the Euro. You can take your "theory of evilnomics" elsewhere- us belivers know the one TRUE way act is to join and promote Asshole-ism!
And then Bill spent the dollar on gum.
Well, thought the lips, this is intresting. I'm ink. And my purpose is to be lips. Interesting how I am chemically optimal for depicting lips.
And look at that! There's more ink! They're chemically similar to me, but they depict other facial features. Hello, Nose! And what's all this fiberous stuff, quite astounding; linen, cotton, other stuff-- paper, is it? And it's so happily bonded to me. My my, isn't that something.
And-and--- amazing, what's that darkness all around me! It's huge and so different! I can't tell where it begins and where it ends! What shay you, chaps? Walla? Wally? Wallet? Yes, that's the ticket; we'll call it a wallet! Where are we, anyways? In a pocket? An my word, what is that warmth? Ohh, how it comforts me... Bill Gate's Ass Cheek! Wow! What a loving and wonderful being, to have made the wallet, paper, and existance, out of love, just for us.
The eye had been listening (he's friends with the ear), and had managed to develop techniques to accomplish what he could not do, like blink rapidly to mimic speech: Wait, wait a tic; what was that?
The lips replied; well, I was just saying, how improbably well-suited for our existance must this wallet and paper be for our existance. Logic dictates that the wallet and paper and pants were created with us in mind. And I can feel all this warmth of Holy Bill Gate's Right Ass Cheek.
Wait a minute, said the eye; how is that at all logical? Also, it's a "Holy" now? And right ass cheek? I think this bloke is left-handed, for starters...
But of course. After all, he MUST be right, not wrong; because if he was not right, then how and why did the Allmighty Ass create us?
Now hold on, on what evidence do you assume that we were created by such an ass?
Well, can't you just feel His warmth, and know, in your Ink of Inks, that he radiates that warmth just for us, just as we Inks were created in George Washington's Image, as we were, not to long ago?
Alright, now that is patently ridiculus; where do you get that we were blown out of His Ass "not too long ago" here?
Well, I don't see any evidence of any of us Inks being more than a few years old, nor do I remember anything before being next to the ass, nor being anything else before being ink. Therefore, the Ass Pull happened, therefore, Allmighty Sphincter created us! Praise be to the Ass!
Look, I can see pocket lint from here, what may be a jolly rancher, and a 1945 penny; yes, our date says 2010. Clearly, the penny and oruselves have some kind of relationship in our past--
WHAT?! THat's disgusting! How can you even say such a thing?! Do you think we were metal before? And that's Lincolin; euuuuuuuuuuuuugh! The one true image is Washington!
No, not directly before us, but what we represent must have been metals, perhaps other things of subjective value, and we might've ended up becoming ink on paper, selectively because it's easier to carry paper than money--- plus, look! I can see other dollar bills; Jefferson, Lincolin's a five, ect; what makes you think it was specificaly George Washingon's image is the "one true image?"
HA! So you DO think we were metal that JUSt became paper and ink! How can you not understand that the Ass specifically designed us and inteded all of us to be George Washington, and live in His Pocket?
Well, for one thing, the ear's been listening to the outside, and it seems that this Bill Gates is not just an ass, and also but one of many beings, and that we are but one of billions of dollars this guy has, so why should he care specifically about one blotch of ink on ONE dollar- and if the numbers are anything to go by, not a particularly valuable dollar at that- OR think that the wallet and the pants were created JUST for us on this one dollar?
HEATHEN! How dare you! Do you want to be Lost in the Couch Cushion for all eternety, even after you get put in the washing machine and disingtergrated?
..... what.
Clearly, all the Ass wants us is to follow in his Windy Ways and praise him, so that our eternal, unending souls may one day be conveted into the Euro. You can take your "theory of evilnomics" elsewhere- us belivers know the one TRUE way act is to join and promote Asshole-ism!
And then Bill spent the dollar on gum.
Money and wallets were created for that environment, while humans were not evolved for our current environments.
I see where you are trying to go with this. :3 I like it. ^_^ But I think the analogy of a dollar didn't quite capture it correctly. Perhaps a Jack-o-lantern? That was something evolved, alive, given a face by humans. So that gets rid of the 'created objects vs us evolved objects' part as well as the environment part. :3
A very cute tangent here. ^_^