Alright, for those of you who don't know, I'm officially 20 years old; one year shy of American legal drinking age (4 years over EVERYWHERE ELSE). I've survived 2 decades, lived in 2 centuries and have lived on every continent on the planet. I could list my achievements, but that's really short; so, I'm going to give you a list of 20 things I learned in my past 20 years.

1. When you come up with something absolutely amazing and try to explain it to someone else, all majesty will be lost and you'll sound like a dreamer and a moron.
2. Axe deodorant is flammable.
2. a) Alcohol is flammable.
2. b) Human hair is flammable.
2. c) Combining these three elements does not many any one LESS flammable.
3. Friends are expendable and a dime a dozen.
4. Real friends don't go when you find them, and they will drag your stupid ass out of whatever you end up in.
4. a) Real friends are like parasites; you can't get rid of the bastards.
5. Drawings of nudity are an acceptable form of communication amongst true friends.
6. Police do not appreciate doughnut jokes.
7. Police do not appreciate you running.
8. 3/4 times, you CAN outrun the police. This is not recommended as it makes for some interesting explaining.
9. You CAN talk yourself out of anything, if you use the appropriate amount of bullshit.
10. If you hate something, don't tell anyone; friends will mock you for it and real friends will play it incessantly to the point of insanity.
11. The more you look up to someone, the greater the probability that they will disappoint you in a spectacular fashion.
11. a) If someone you admire and look up to is deep in thought, chances are they're thinking about lunch or if they can pass gas quietly enough to get away with it. They are not thinking about you, nor will they ever do so.
12. Beer before liquor is a one-way ride to hell.
13. Accents are cool.
13. a) Accents may get you shot at, depending where you are.
14. Be yourself; those around you will love it, those who can't stand it aren't worth being around.
15. Light tubes do break when smashed against a human's body; this is neither intelligent nor painless. In fact, it hurts a lot.
16. If you must staple a part of your body, do so at your own accord; NEVER listen to friend's ideas on the subject.
16. a) Chances are your friends are going to staple you anyway, since you're dumb enough to suggest it.
16. b) You had it coming, quit whining.
17. In a panic situation, gunpowder and a lighter is an acceptable way to close a wound; it is neither pleasant or attractive, but it can save your life.
17. a) Quit whining, that could have killed you.
18. Dance like no one can see you.
19. Sing like no one can hear you.
20. Love life no matter what anyone tells you; you've only got one, make it count.

~ Snow