The Explanation:

Short version: super super SUPER stressed at work.

Longer version:
Well, for those who didn't know, I started working with on second job since January. It's the same as my old job in a sense that it is still a call center and I still receive inbound calls providing customer service. Now from January upto Wednesday this week, we were having training classes, familiarizing ourselves with company policy, the customers, the market, the products and the system. Thursday, we started our very first phone time with a live customer. It's true what they told us, the theoretical aspect of the job is very very different from the application of it.

In my first job, I was also a customer service representative, but my current job was waaaaaay different. It felt like nothing could have prepared me for the experience (well, we had training, but you know what I mean). We had other trainers and tenured agents guiding us throughout the day, but it still nerve-wracking. At the end of the day, i felt like everything inside my body was stretched, mashed, twisted in every way possible (I was just thankful I didn't make a mess.) A teammate of mine was already cursing our trainer, one broke down and cried, and some were thinking of finding another job elsewhere.

They did tell us that the account is no bed of roses, but the pay is high; higher than the other call centers in the area. We were perplexed as to why people would resign when the pay is high... now we now.

One of the trainers told us that this kind of thing happens to agents on the first day of their phone time, but they encourage us not to give up and to stick around, see where it all leads.

Friday. 3 of our teammates didn't report to work today, and one is considering handing over her resignation. We were given phone time again, but surprisingly, this time it was easier to handle.

Saturday is my day off, but we'll need to go back on Sunday for one final day of phone time, then they'll tell us who passed to continue to work and who'll get the axe. After that, Monday will be given to us as a day off and come Tuesday, each of those who make it will be assigned to their new teams.

So there, when I posted "I just don't care anymore", I meant that i didn't care about anything at that moment. My mind was blank (so to speak), my body was aching, I just wanted to lie down and forget everything, I just wanted to break down and cry. I was very very stressed.

I'm sorry if i worry some people. For those who know me, I don't get emo like that often, so it only goes to show what my state was then and how my new job is affecting me.

As with all things, it will take some getting use to.

And now, I'm tired, my body is still a bit stressed. I need to get some sleep.