i cant handle it anymore DX school is to much for me to handle right now, at home is shit and there nobody around that i feel ok to talk to about anything v.=.v

i know theres  DieselCub that doesnt live far from my place and theres  AgileFoxen i can talk to at school but thats what started the big drama thing last summer that i cant stop thinking that its all my fault that it happened. sure the guy went over board with it all and im not naming names but he wouldnt of if it wasnt for me. ive been crying all most 4 times a week cause im so depressed.

school is just plan retarted right now, people think that me and my girlfriend dont love each other cause we havent kissed yet and its been almost a year and a half we are dating but i love he so much and i know she loves me back. shes the only one that truly understands me at the school and i dont want to lose her, shes the best friend ive ever met at that school and shes the greatest girl for me. theres this one girl that im friends with but shes starting to piss me off because i know she has a crush on me and she saying bad stuff about my girlfriend so my girlfriend and a couple of our other friend started to say that this other girl (witch is a good friend to me and my girlfriend) is crushing on my to piss off that one girl and i decided to go along with it but now shes saying bad stuff about the girl thats pretending to crush on me and thats really pissing me off and i want to talk to her about it but even if shes saying bad stuff about my girlfriend and my other friends, im still not going to hate her cause im not that type of person and i dont want to lose my friendship with her cause we been friends for 3 years. but i dont know what will happen now v.=.v

at home and in life in general, ive been so depressed and lonely v.=.v sure i might look and sound happy but its like the saying " Your heart might want but your head wont follow". thats my favorite saying cause it got me thought a lot in life and its just like now, i might be depressed but thats in my heart but i dont want to show it so my head make it look like im happy but thats just the friend and new stuff happy but im truly sad and lonely inside v.=.v i tried to buy some stuff but its true that money doesnt buy happiness, i think i spent almost 150$ on food after my COOP at school and ive only been doing COOP now for like 2 weeks. i would buy food in the food court to try and make me happy but it didnt work.

FE is comming up soon and i cant wait to go and meet some friends that i wanted to meet for a while and also meet friends i havent seen for a while. i should be fun and then i have the whole week after FE to relax because of March break. so im going to try and relax and clear my mind from everything.

i just hope everything changes and i can get out of this mood soon.
talk to you all soon
Arcot