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ok brain i know!!!! SHEEEEESH!
14 years ago
well 4 the past like week or two... Ive lost track... Ive been in what you could call a mental stand still. i'm feeling kinda useless seeing how i'm 19 almost 20 and still at the social level i was as a high-schooler. yes i am fully aware that was only a few months ago but i still have dreams to fulfill and shit to do. i'm constantly being pushed by my parents who thankfully don't mind i sloth around here glued to the computer chatting it up and arting 24/7 seeing how thats the only thing i can do that seems half worth my time. *gasps* but i still don't feel i'm at my full potential. my art is losing quality my energy is diminishing and ive only went out for exercise 2ce this week......and on top of that I'm having nightmares every night of being bound alone in a dark room or trapped somewhere about to be fed to some sort of horrible monster. i'm very well aware that these are dreams that mean i feel trapped in my current life position and feel insecure about my life and other things...i just wish my brain wouldn't be such a prick about it and remind me every freaking night making me wake up in the middle of the night panting and sweating......ur not helping brain ur just making me lose sleep....and i don't appreciate that -.-
buuut by summer that should all change...i have a maybe job? shruggs* im getting to the point where im selling my collection of army uniforms and memorabilia that ive collected since i was in 1st grade......i suppose my surplus storage could use a little filtering i just dont like HAVING to do it
well thats all i feel tike typing.....but in a nutshell, im not happy with my situation though its not horrible by my standards
buuut by summer that should all change...i have a maybe job? shruggs* im getting to the point where im selling my collection of army uniforms and memorabilia that ive collected since i was in 1st grade......i suppose my surplus storage could use a little filtering i just dont like HAVING to do it
well thats all i feel tike typing.....but in a nutshell, im not happy with my situation though its not horrible by my standards
That brings us all down a notch.
I thought graduating high school would cure my depression. It seemed to. But it came back. I thought college would help. It did. Then it came back. I thought getting out of an emotionally abusive relationship would help. It did. Then it came back.
Over the past few days I have come to terms that my depression is going to come and go the rest of My life. I'll deal. So I have to cope with it.
I don't know you very well, but I want you to know first hand that no matter how horrible life feels, it is worth it. There is always a reason to get out of bed, and a reason to go through the day. And that reason is you. You are the apex of life. And to boot, you are an artist. You can create ideas and share them. That is a power not gifted to all. My father is an artist, and I am not. I know that artists are Something Special.
You are a member of an elite.
Be proud.
Now draw something special for yourself.
This comment is so full of win.
Good luck husky!
as for exercise we'llhave to walk more on the weekend, and like you said you could take me up on that offer to jog with me ^ ^
I sure hope that these dreams would stop haunting you so, but maybe going to college will be a good step for you, I'm taking a class next semester as well! When we find out our class times we should share it with each other ^ ^