1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
mmmmmm...nope.

2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
SKYYYYYY ROCKETS IN FLIIIIIIIIGHT

3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Middle.

4. Do you masturbate?
Oh shut up. That's private business you're getting into.

5. How often? Lately?
Once to twice a day. Gotta limit it.

6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
what is this i don't even

7. Do you prefer showers or baths?
Both are equally awesome.

8. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath?
Yeah, no.

9. Do you watch/read pornography?
Of the walking and talking poorly-drawn animal kind, yes.

10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Traits of both.

11. Do you love someone on your friends list?
...stop torturing me...

12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?
Well, I know Shui, Myst, and that guy who stretches for monies.

13. Would you choose money or love?
Can I choose both?

14. Your top three favorite kinks in bed?
I don't have sex.

15. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?
NO, SO STOP ASKING ME.

16. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?
I haven't had sex yet and judging by the way this journal is going, I don't plan on it anytime soon.

17. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
See #16.

18. Have you ever been caught having sex?
See #16.

19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
WHY

20. Ever been to a bar just to get sex?
fuck. you.

21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reasons?
WHY

22. Ever been picked up in a bar?
WHY

23. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
WHY

24. What's your sexuality?
Asexual bisexual straight.

25. Had sex in a movie theater?
WHY

26. Had sex in a bathroom?
WHY

27. Have you ever had sex at work?
WHY

28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
WHY

29. Bought something from an adult store?
WHY

30. Do you own any sex toys?
FUCK NO.

31. If yes, how many and what are they?
I SAID NO, GODDAMN IT.

32. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?
I'M NOT PROSTITUTING MYSELF.

33. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
I TOLD YOU, I HAVEN'T HAD SEX YET.

34. Have you ever had phone sex?
Well, I did call a couple of 900 numbers back in the day, but I never did anything with them.

35. Have you ever had cyber sex?
Well, that's what the roleplay is for...isn't it?

36. Do you think oral sex constitutes as a form of intercourse?
LOOK AT ME I'M SUCKING ON YOUR EYEBALL OH YEAH THAT'S TOTALLY ORAL

37. What's your favorite sexual position?
Getting you to shut the fuck up.

38. What's your favorite sex act?
There were those girls who shat in a Dixie cup that one time, but other than that, I DON'T HAVE A FAVORITE SEX ACT.

39. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?
ONE OF THESE DAYS...I'm not Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice. We don't do foursomes in America.

40. Who do you think has the guts to repost this?
ED trolls who'll answer a little more angrily.