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A new commitment...
15 years ago
General
I've hit a wall. I have been overweight off and on since my Freshman year in high school. I was fit at times, starved and skinny sometimes, but mostly i've been fat. I have been able to put up some strong blinders to my size but lately it's gotten to me. I'm not sure what exactly set me off but one day about a week and a half ago i decided i was going to cut down my eating proportions drastically.
After high school, any time I tried to move out on my own I would ultimately fail... I could never find work and wouldn't have the option of eating daily. I would eat every Tuesday as there was a gay youth group i always attended, and once a month i would attend an art walk and hit the two galleries i knew served food. That was my diet. I have never had a drivers license, so i walk everywhere while i was starving. So i lost weight, ultimately.
The trouble came when i would admit my failure as an adult and move back in with my stepmom, a few states away. My stomach was shrunk and it didn't take much to fill me up, but she would see me eat these tiny portions of food and insist that i eat more. I would tell her i was full and she pushed harder. If i fought back she would begin to yell. I decided it was easier to eat than fight over it....so soon my stomach grew again and i was eating huge amounts soon and i gained all my weight back.
This happened every time i moved out and came back.
Well now i'm moved out again and living with my girl friend. I'm doing well! I have a steady job and she does too. We have everything set. But we are both unhappy with our bodies. She quit smoking and gained a lot of weight after we first got together and never fought too lose it. So we have been happy, fat, and lazy together.
So back to the present. I have cut way back on my eating in hopes of shrinking my stomach again as that will greatly help my problem. Well, around that time, my girlfriend's buddy from work said that she had the P90X dvds and would lend them to us. Woo diet AND exersize!
Well today was our first day. We did pretty good... though we had to skip the first disc as we didn't have any equipment. But we did everything on the second disc to the best of our ability. Afterwards we took our 'before' pictures. I absolutely want to stick to this. I don't care to be crazy muscular, i just want to be lean again, but healthy.
Anyway, i have been posting this everywhere because I want to continue without a doubt of failure. If i begin to slip i will go on facebook, or here on furaffinity and see all my posts and be reminded why i'm doing this. I'm not happy, not healthy, and no longer ignoring it.
A new chapter for RetroCat!
After high school, any time I tried to move out on my own I would ultimately fail... I could never find work and wouldn't have the option of eating daily. I would eat every Tuesday as there was a gay youth group i always attended, and once a month i would attend an art walk and hit the two galleries i knew served food. That was my diet. I have never had a drivers license, so i walk everywhere while i was starving. So i lost weight, ultimately.
The trouble came when i would admit my failure as an adult and move back in with my stepmom, a few states away. My stomach was shrunk and it didn't take much to fill me up, but she would see me eat these tiny portions of food and insist that i eat more. I would tell her i was full and she pushed harder. If i fought back she would begin to yell. I decided it was easier to eat than fight over it....so soon my stomach grew again and i was eating huge amounts soon and i gained all my weight back.
This happened every time i moved out and came back.
Well now i'm moved out again and living with my girl friend. I'm doing well! I have a steady job and she does too. We have everything set. But we are both unhappy with our bodies. She quit smoking and gained a lot of weight after we first got together and never fought too lose it. So we have been happy, fat, and lazy together.
So back to the present. I have cut way back on my eating in hopes of shrinking my stomach again as that will greatly help my problem. Well, around that time, my girlfriend's buddy from work said that she had the P90X dvds and would lend them to us. Woo diet AND exersize!
Well today was our first day. We did pretty good... though we had to skip the first disc as we didn't have any equipment. But we did everything on the second disc to the best of our ability. Afterwards we took our 'before' pictures. I absolutely want to stick to this. I don't care to be crazy muscular, i just want to be lean again, but healthy.
Anyway, i have been posting this everywhere because I want to continue without a doubt of failure. If i begin to slip i will go on facebook, or here on furaffinity and see all my posts and be reminded why i'm doing this. I'm not happy, not healthy, and no longer ignoring it.
A new chapter for RetroCat!
