It all started on The Black Pearl (Captain Jack Sparrow's boat) stranded in Davy Jones' Locker. Don't ask me why because I don't know, it's a dream. Anyway, I hop off the ship and investigate my predicament. I try to push the ship forward, but to no avail. I climb back up onto the poop deck and start exploring the ship. I get to a door that I guess leads below deck when SUDDENLY ZOMBIES! Then I literally pull out something like a kunai dagger out of my ass, I'm not sure exactly what it was (it was a thrown weapon, not a dildo), and manage to kill a single zombie with it. Obviously there are too many zombies so I jump off the boat and run to the back. I push on the boat again, and this time it moves forward a little. So I keep pushing on it, but I can' only move it a very short distance before I have to stop and start pushing again. Well then suddenly the zombies disappeared from the boat, thus making it lighter and easier to push. I'm now pushing this boat full force, charging down this desert like area and running over the occasional zombie with it.

Eventually I come to a mini putt putt course, or to be more accurate a film set of a mini putt putt course. And as mini putt putt courses tend to, this one had a small stream of water for atmosphere or something. I see water and think that's where I'm gonna park my boat. This being The Black Pearl there's no way it would fit, but this is a dream so fuck you physics. I call over some kid in a baseball cap with a headphone mic, a cup of coffee, and a baseball bat. I've never played team fortress 2, but I just found the scout. He helps me drop anchor on this mini putt putt set and I go on my merry way.

Leaving the set, I'm now on a dark street and it's raining profusely. But I'm not getting wet for whatever reason. I run for shelter from the rain in the opening of a very tall building. As I'm walking up the stairs that lead into the building, I hear a voice in the back of my head (it's the same one I hear every so often because I'm fuck crazy). I can't remember exactly what it said, but I'm pretty sure it had something to do with destiny, saving the world, destroying evil, etc. I get to the top of the stairs and there's no 'door' into the building, you just pass two walls that go up forever. I realize this is more like a raised pedestal than a building, and there are six ways to go. Two lead to the desert I was in, two lead to some cartooned forest area thing, and the other two lead back onto the street.

Without slowing down, I continue forward back onto the street despite the rain. I think now would be a good time to mention that there are several recurring places in my dreams. One of them is a school that I've never been to and I don't know what the outside looks like and I've never seen the whole of the inside of the school. One of them is a library that you get to by driving along a cliff and it's embedded into a mountain side. And there are some generic places like a nature path in a forest, a field in a suburban area, etc. Anyway, I'm walking down the street and I see a building I recognize: it's a hospital. At least it looks a lot like a hospital: it says Hospital, there are ambulances in the parking lot, etc. I go into this building thinking it's a hospital, and in the doorway there's a small boy who tells me the doctors are working very hard to save his dad. I tell him everything will be okay and proceed into the building. I am now in the reception area of a hotel. This happens every time (except for that little boy, that was weird) and I never notice. It's a huge lobby (like a mile in all directions) that is very fancy and the check in desk is on the other side.

I make my way quickly to the other side, and by quickly I mean I traveled about a mile in 10 seconds, and I find my mother trying to check in at the desk. There's some trouble with scanning something into the computer. I guess I needed to buy some time or something because I picked up a fruit of some kind on the other side of the desk and said to add it to the bill. I ran up a flight of stairs to the left of the desk onto the second floor and headed for the closest door. I burst out of the door and now I'm standing in a real world location. I'm standing on the side of the highway that is a bit down the road from my house.

Anyway, it's night and there's a lot of traffic on the roads. I mean it's almost bumper to bumper traffic, but everybody is going like 80. I start walking along the highway, when I get yanked into what I think is a cop car by what I think are police officers. I can't remember what they were. They take me to some old building and lock me up in a iron bar cage that is a little bit larger than I am and start injecting me with stuff. I don't know what happened next because I blacked out and woke up later (inside the dream). When I woke up, I was Kyte. Yeah, it's that kind of dream. Anyhow, I had manacles on my ankles with a rather lengthy chain. The chain was long enough for me to run, so there wasn't really a point in them. I thought they were bitchin' though, and made no attempt to take them off.

I was completely alone when I woke up, and the key to the cage was in the lock so I did what any sensible person would do. I unlocked the cage and proceeded to leave the building. I was then standing exactly where they picked me up, and the building was still behind me this time (wherever the fuck it came from). It was either still night or night again, I had no way of knowing. I continue along the highway; traffic still berserk, and I come to the intersection of where the hospital they built a couple blocks away from my house. I'm on the opposite side of the street (not highway) of the hospital and for some reason, I desperately need to be at the hospital. Before I can even attempt to cross the busy street, there are several cars that swerve into the intersection and crash into each other. I find the source of the problem a few meters in front of me: a hot-dog stand looking car/bike thing that doesn't have its lights on.

I ran over to the car/bike thing to help it out. I waved out to traffic so they could see us while he tried to get his lights on. I was standing in front of his car/bike thing when he got his lights back on and was thus blinded. I jump out of the way of the light so I could see. I turned to the driver and he thanked me for my help and then disappeared. As in ceased to exist. Thoroughly unimpressed, I crossed the street and ran to the hospital. I bust through the door, and it's a hotel on the inside except it was properly proportioned to the outside of the building. However, unlike outside, there is daylight coming in through the windows.

I'm now decked out in full military gear (still Kyte) and am greeted by group of furries decked out in military gear too. They don't have don't have time to brief me on the mission before an alarm goes off and I'm told to move out. We're now in an all out gunfight against a group of enemies. As we're fighting I happen to see a man with a red-circle above his head. I figure that's the target and I'm about to shoot him when one of my teammates grabs my shoulder and says, "Don't shoot the man with the circle above his head, we need him alive." I nod in response and then proceed to head-shot every other enemy. We then bull-rush the man with the circle above his head. We pin him to the ground and start to take him away.

Then out of fucking nowhere, large blue letters appear accompanied by a voice that says "Round Won!". The point of view proceeds to shift out to me sitting on my couch at home playing on my laptop. I proceed to say "Well fuck, if that wasn't the crappiest game I've played." I then woke up in my bed thinking, "What a fucking weird dream...I MUST TELL THE WORLD!" So here I am, telling what little of the world I know.