I seriously think I'm going insane...
I've lost a lot of my patience and I'm losing control of my emotions. I get angry so easily; I almost got into a fight today with a kid in my math class because the annoying bastard wouldn't stop kicking my desk. I just started screaming my head off at him and the teacher. She pulled him away from me and he got in trouble but I got in trouble too (his fault).
I've been snapping at people lately and I try to avoid a lot of people unless I already have to associate with them in my class. I'm even close to just avoiding people on the internet (nothing personal...).
I'm afraid this is going to effect my chances at getting a job - already bad enough that I lost a chance at a position at one of the stores at the plaza in Concord to someone older than me...
I'm low on self-esteem here and I have no idea why. Things have just been getting to me and it's weighing me down a lot. From the moment I wake up to the moment I sleep, I'm either depressed, angry, or sick. I sometimes wanna talk to someone but something just prevents me from doing that - I feel like I should be alone but I don't want to be and it's just ripping at my brain.
I'm confused and sick and I can't get any help.
What's worse is I wanna cry but I can't.. it just stings my eyes and turns them red.
I've been put through so much pain before and I still go through it - but why am I reacting so harshly to things now?? I'm overreacting to minor problems and the big ones are still tearing at me, yet to see a reaction for them. I wanna get help, and I'm sure there are some of you that want to help, but the hope is dwindling...
I'm accepting anyone willing to take the challenge to help me... Please I really need it =(