i love connor... hes my world.... i want him happy more than anything.....
but.... i.... i cant do anything.... hes made that painfully clear..... i cant do anything for him... i cant do anything period.
...i love him so much... and... i... im scared to death of losing him.... i........... i........... i..............

.....im useless........ im worthles....... i know...... im sorry........
.....i want..... i want everything happy for fucking once...
just everything simple and happy......
god for fucking bid something goes right somewhere.........




...........im trying my hardest not to harm my body for this... because connor gets upset when i do......
....and.... like i said.... i want him happy..........


god, he kills me sometimes...
he makes me happy like no one else can.... but....
he also hurts me like no one else can........

....i put my heart in his hands..... he can do to it hat he wishes...
sometimes he doesnt realize what he does to it....
but... everything he does DOES effect me.... much more than he realizes..........


.....sorry if you wasted your time reading this....
just me being a whining bitch because im a clingy bitch whos scared and worried about my mate........
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