A couple of people we're asking about it and I never gave any clear reason for it, mostly because it was very personal and because it is still strongly affecting my life at this point. I was going to wait until tomorrow since I have a paper to write, but it kept popping into my head, and I owe this to at least a few people, so sit down cause it's going to be a long read.

My reasons for taking another hiatus four months ago had nothing to do with anything that anybody said or did around here, or anywhere else on the internet. My reasons were very personal and until the heat died down, I simply couldn't be around here.

A few months ago my dad had an...incident. He had stopped at a bar after work to have a few drinks and discuss an upcoming project with a client. This was the end of a 48 hour shift for him, so he was dead tired, and he drank a little too much. On the drive home, he fell asleep at the wheel, and his car veered through a guard rail and into a ditch. Nobody was injured, but the car was totaled and he knew it was his fault.

We saw the car when he got home, and naturally we were concerned. When we inquired as to what happened, he gave us the story, told us where he had been and what he was doing. We were all tired so we didn't discuss it too much, but the next morning my mom did a google search on the bar that he was at prior to the accident, saw the provocative images of scantily-clad women, and assumed it to be a titty bar. Now this wasn't the case, the bar was just having a promotional for business; it was not in any way a nude bar. But that's the conclusion she ran with, and for at least 6 weeks straight our entire family had to suffer for her delusion. There was no talking to or reasoning with her. She actually packed up and moved next store because she didn't want to have to see his face (or mine, since I took his side, reluctantly), and it was a big fucking mess.

It SORT of blew over after two months or so. It wasn't really forgotten, but it was forgiven. Life goes on and all that. But ever since then, she's been using the incident as a crutch to hold over his head for whatever. She's an alcoholic and drinks heavily on a DAILY basis, but any time we try to confront her about it, she either brings up the titty bar bullshit, or, in my case, just says something like "yeah, what about it!?" I should also mention that she's a pill whore and takes a number of different medications daily, most of which she probably doesn't even need to function. Last week she had a bad reaction to one of her meds because she drank too much beer beforehand. She ended up vomiting all over her bed and being unable to go to work that evening.

We finally got the car fixed a couple of weeks ago. We kept it in the garage for the last few months because we didn't want our neighbors to see the damage caused by the accident, and it looks brand new now. But she still insists on hanging this bad incident over his head, keeping him under her thumb, so to speak, and it's caused a lot of strain in our family. Dad is ready to divorce her if she isn't willing to let it go, and I honestly can't blame him for feeling that way, but both of them keep dragging me into this mess and all I'm trying to do is keep my distance from it as much as I can. It's not my battle and I hate taking sides, but every time an argument breaks out I seem to get dragged into it, and every time I walk away feeling that I only made it worse.

It's still not resolved. But I'm at the point now where I can just deal with it and move on, and that's when I came back. I surround myself with my schoolwork and my RL friends and relatives so I don't have to constantly look at it. I'm tired of it, quite frankly. I said I done with being an enabler of drama of just about any sort, and this is why, because I'm in my own nightmare of drama right now, and I now see what it can do to people, first-hand. I don't see this marriage lasting with the way things are unfolding at the moment, but all I can do is live my life and try to not let it affect me so much.

So that's why I left four months ago. I had to get away so I could deal with this and undergo some self-growth as a result. And if you are mad at me or resent me for that, fine, I guess I understand. But I had my reasons and I make no apology for it. I think it's unfair that I lost some friends because of it, but I understand why people may have felt the way they did. I left at a time when some of my best friends were in a state of emotional flux. But I had to do it or I was going to break, so take it for what it is.

So now you know. Back to writing my paper cause it's going to be a LONG day at school tomorrow. Thanks for listening to me ramble. Have a good one guys, peace.