FA+
Shop
CAUTION: DO NOT READ!!! Contains ranting!
14 years ago
General
Start Here
TL;DR version: Trust me, you really don't want to read this. It's full of highly subjective ranting. And while not specifically aimed at anyone in particular, some people may recognize examples personal to them. If you are one of these people, please keep it to yourself. I tried my best to make this rant as anonymous as I could.
LAST CHANCE TO STOP READING!
I believe it's slowly killing me inside when I let my friends unload all their problems on me, but they all push me away when I have my own problems to unload. I let my friends walk all over me. I ask a specific question and get the world's most vague answer. I make plans and invite them. They say sure, they'd love to come! But when the time comes to actually do it, they all drop out for various reasons.
And now it seems I have a knack for saying all the wrong things at the wrong time. Whenever I talk to anyone about the aforementioned plans to people who have already told me they won't be able to go, most of the time they just stop responding to me. One person was honest enough to tell me that it actually hurts his feelings when I bring it up. He says he doesn't like being reminded that he can't go. So now I have a very close friend kinda pissed off at me, and I'm convinced that it's my fault.
Further complicating matters, I have to keep all my thoughts and feelings to myself, because no one else wants to hear them. I'll gladly take an hour or so to listen to anything they want to tell me (which isn't much these days, by the way). But God forbid I mention my problems to anyone. As soon as I do, the conversation explodes and I'm making my friends depressed by telling them my problems and asking for emotional support. Maybe my mom's right. Maybe it is time for me to find new friends.
I'm sick and tired of being everyone's "go-to-guy" without having one of my own. I want to be able to tell people that I need straight answers. I want to be able to be an asshole to other people, to piss people off without apologizing. I don't want to care what my friends think of me. I want to say "This is who I am. If you don't like me for me, then you're not a true friend."
But if I did that, I wouldn't have friends. I like the friends I have, and I value their companionship. I want them to be my friends. That's why I let them treat me like shit.
((I warned you! Don't complain to me.))
LAST CHANCE TO STOP READING!
I believe it's slowly killing me inside when I let my friends unload all their problems on me, but they all push me away when I have my own problems to unload. I let my friends walk all over me. I ask a specific question and get the world's most vague answer. I make plans and invite them. They say sure, they'd love to come! But when the time comes to actually do it, they all drop out for various reasons.
And now it seems I have a knack for saying all the wrong things at the wrong time. Whenever I talk to anyone about the aforementioned plans to people who have already told me they won't be able to go, most of the time they just stop responding to me. One person was honest enough to tell me that it actually hurts his feelings when I bring it up. He says he doesn't like being reminded that he can't go. So now I have a very close friend kinda pissed off at me, and I'm convinced that it's my fault.
Further complicating matters, I have to keep all my thoughts and feelings to myself, because no one else wants to hear them. I'll gladly take an hour or so to listen to anything they want to tell me (which isn't much these days, by the way). But God forbid I mention my problems to anyone. As soon as I do, the conversation explodes and I'm making my friends depressed by telling them my problems and asking for emotional support. Maybe my mom's right. Maybe it is time for me to find new friends.
I'm sick and tired of being everyone's "go-to-guy" without having one of my own. I want to be able to tell people that I need straight answers. I want to be able to be an asshole to other people, to piss people off without apologizing. I don't want to care what my friends think of me. I want to say "This is who I am. If you don't like me for me, then you're not a true friend."
But if I did that, I wouldn't have friends. I like the friends I have, and I value their companionship. I want them to be my friends. That's why I let them treat me like shit.
((I warned you! Don't complain to me.))
