I'm having a battle within myself, and there are so many things going on that I don't know who's winning, it all just mushes up and makes me feel weird. I'm fighting to get out of my titanium coccoon that is my nervous and shyness, and it's only getting cracks, I just don't know how to get out of it. Then there's my fight with my body, I want to get in shape, but with my surgery's aftermath ther I still can't do much, so that's bugging me. And finally, there's my final boss of problems, and that's the twins Laziness and Procrastination. These two are my biggest weaknesses, I want to do so much, I have so many thoughts and ideas and promises, but I just can't do them. It must be buried in my genes somewhere, because this is just one hill that I can't climb over for some reason. I hate it so much, and I want to change myself, but I'm making about as much progress as a turtle going uphill. And on top of all this, my parents keep bugging me about scholarships, to which my procrastination kicks in, I don't get sh** done, get yelled at, and even more stress is piled on. Right now I feel like a time bomb and I'm going to explode at any moment, it just sucks, I hate it, and everything I do doesn't seem to help. I beat myself up over every little mistake I make, and with all of this....I just don't know....I'm my own puching bag....I know you're not supposed to sweat the small stuff, but I do, and it all gets to me.

I thank you if you actually bothered reading all this, and if you have any advice for me I'd greatly appreciate it. Have a nice day.