I still havent gotten a reply from Chris.

Its okay. I feel much better...I havent cried yet. I dont know if I will but yeah. I mean...he didnt give me that much attention...and he didnt give me a chance to reveal myself to him...lol...not that way...I mean how I really am...my true self. He's only seen a glimpse of what I do. Its just that we were always around people...never got time to do anything alone like speaking more about each other or you know just personal together time...thats important in relationships you know.

Tomorrow is going to be tough.

New menu for the restaurant...gosh...a lot of work. Im getting pretty far on that Valkyrie Profile Lenneth game since I understand what to do now! :D

But aside from that...I am lonely...I mean...when I had a boyfriend...I didnt feel alone...even if I was away from him. Im okay...heh...I just have to wait until the perfect guy asks me to be his. :3 Yeah...hehe. I just hope Chris finds somebody that makes him happy...even if he doesnt want me around anymore.

I was planning to bring flowers to him this weekend before he broke up with me...but...that plan just blew up in my face! :D Heh. Love does hurt but I need to move on. There is a guy out there waiting to find somebody that is exactly like me...that would take care of me and protect me and actually want to spend time with me and do stuff with me like going out to eat, go to parks or really nice beautiful places...or the movies...things like that.

You cannot truly know somebody after a couple of months...it takes years...sometimes you just have to stay with the person and see what happens...sometimes people get scared and dont want the responsiblity so soon. Im ready...Im mature...not completely, people have different levels of immaturity...but when it comes to certain things...I know what Im doing. Im just looking for that strong butch man. :D

Looking is the fun part I guess...but I want restrictions in my relationship...I like it closed...so we can just focus on each other.