I leave in less than 2 weeks for the UK (sooooo excited)! But someone who doesn't even realize what they are doing, is making me really sad so let me boil this down as a cautionary tale for people.

I had a friend pass away recently. It was very sudden and super tragic. She was active in mental health circles and would always listen to people when they were having a problem. One such person was X (real name withheld). X is still new to the forums where we all hang out and she is bipolar. She started talking to my friend (whom we'll call Jane...not her real name).

Jane listened to her troubles but X had a bad bad temper and was quite standoffish most of the time so Jane kept her at arms length and didn't really like her all that much. But she would never refuse someone the ability to talk out their issues.

So Jane passed and those who knew her best went into a deep mourning. We comforted one another on facebook and grieved largely in private but sent flowers, and messages to her family for her funeral. X however suddenly started telling everyone that she and Jane were best friends. This would not be harmless but all of a sudden X is going to attend the funeral but she has no money so she is going to sell her cell phone because she needs to be there for Jane (quick reminder, Jane didn't like X). So suddenly everyone who doesn't know any better is enchanted that this woman gave up part of her life to make the funeral.

Then despite her not having money to get to the funeral and making this big sacrifice she gets a tattoo of Jane's full name, date of birth and date of death (tattoos are expensive so wtf). And through all this I took her martyrdom with a grain of salt and figured it was kind of sad that she tattooed a name of a person on her body who didn't really care for her.

Well now X has contacted Jane's publishers (she was a writer) and asked them if they could publish a book of poetry in honor of Jane that X would compile and write. They are ecstatic at the idea because for all the know X was Jane's closest friend. They tell her that if she gets the book together then they can sell it and donate the money to a charity of X's choosing. Not Jane's favorite charities (which are widely known), not to her family to donate, not to a charity of Jane's sister/father or mother's choosing but to the charity of X's choosing.

The death happened a month ago and when I read this recently I got physically ill. I don't know what to do. there is no way she'd believe that Jane didn't like her plus her whole thing is mostly a "look at me, i'm grieving the most" type of show.

Watch out for those who would secretly revel in the death of your friends and loved ones.