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I hate myself for being shy.
14 years ago
General
You know there are only two times I ever feel so angry at myself I would put a bullet through my face, One being I'm feeling bad I cant make friends easily because I don't talk to people and the other, when I find someone I think looks really cute acts nice, basically someone I'd like to get to know better for a possible relationship. There's this really cute girl in my math class, I've basically only talked to her twice so I don't know anything really about her (bad start huh?) I have no idea if she likes someone, has a boyfriend/girlfriend or anything like that, cause I'm a social retard and only poke my two cents in when I know something about what people talk about...anyway, my friend is really trying to get me to talk to her so I can get to know her better. Now let me explain my fear of people to anyone dimwitted and bored enough to read this, I'd rather live in my basement rather then meet new people, and honestly the thought of talking to her had me so frightened I was literally fighting back tears....I've never been a social person to my memory but hell, I never thought my fear of talking to people would make me freeze this damn bad. I guess as I'm typing this all out it's kinda putting how I am into sight at least for me, I think since I haven't gotten to know her to much I shouldn't try to get to know her...probably not worth it for me in the end anyway.
Thanks for reading my insane diary entry....not really but after rereading this it feels like something I'd write in a personal diary if I ever wrote one in my life.
on a much happier note, I got another new bed after the last one I got didn't work for me.
Thanks for reading my insane diary entry....not really but after rereading this it feels like something I'd write in a personal diary if I ever wrote one in my life.
on a much happier note, I got another new bed after the last one I got didn't work for me.
The last bed I got was way to soft and ended up killing my back where as this new one is much harder so I like it much more.
But, my advice is to just do yer best to talk to her. I've crushed on people, many a time, I end up not making a move 'cause my interest in them fades, but I always manage to talk to them n' stuff. So just try and converse with her more. Baby steps mah man, baby steps.
But I'm frightened....it aint easy to talk to people at all. I'll try my best but usually that consists of three words then going quiet cause I don't have anything else to really say or I'm frightened to say anything else.
I realize this. Trust me I know. especially when you're interested in that person romantically. I get really anxious, my heart beats erratically, and in my head I'm stumbling over what to say, but on the outside I don't say anything or I mutter one word replies or nods and shakes of head. But you lose yer chance with her if you don't say anything. She's dated a good deal of people, from the basic knowledge I know.