Well, it's finally that time folks. I dreaded it and prayed to Cthulu as hard as I could, but its actually here. On May 10th I'll be weighing anchor to head off to a very hot place with some unfriendly neighbors to go split atoms and throw planes at anything that looks at me freedom funny for a while. Network admins on the ship are total douchenozzles, so I don't imagine I'll be accessing FA anytime while I'm underway. So that makes a seven-month absence entirely possible. (My inbox is going to be over Nine-Thousand.) I'm really going to miss all of you lovely, colorful eccentrics that make me feel so normal by comparison. Also the porn of said fuzzy oddities. Not having porn is going to be a huge bitch. I've always enjoyed the simple things in life, friends, family, furries, riding shotgun in a fission powered mechagodzilla the size of the Chrysler building while raining death from the skies, but alas it seems that some of those simple pleasures are mutually exclusive. Yet I will persevere. I will take on this burden for God and country and my giant stack of untaxable combat pay. You may lavish gratitude upon me now.
I doubt that my absence will cause a stir, seeing as the Bush has been in and out a dozen times since I boarded her. There's probably a less suggestive way to phrase that... Anyway I'm just letting everyone know that I didn't die (yet) OR ragequit the fandom (...yet.) And that you can await my triumphant return next year a wiser, more worldly man. Or maybe I'll just blow a ton of money on erotic dancers in Dubai and get arrested for buying one of them. Whatever happens I'll be back once the year is out. Lousy time to have a parade, I know, but I'd settle for a welcome home banquet and a quiet ceremony in honor of my conquest of the world.
Okay that was fun, but in all seriousness I'm going to be gone for a longass time and this is one of the things I'm going to miss most. I've got a new story idea going, and I'll have plenty of time to make it into a masterpiece while I'm out. See you at New Year's!

I'm not going to post it, but you can note me for my ship's e-mail address if you really can't stand the thought of being without the invigorating sting of my rapier wit for so long. Part of my TEMADD with ship's training department means that I get my own desk, with mailserver-enabled computer (I know right?) so e-mail will be one of the few things that I can actually do frequently. I've got to get back to getting my affairs in order for the trip, which is a fancy way of saying that I've got to get my shit together at the last minute because I didn't plan this at all and I need to make sure that nothing burns down while I'm gone. At least... nothing that I don't want to see destroyed...