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OH, DEAR SWEET...?!
14 years ago
General
I just got home from college to discover that our constantly problematic internet connection has decided that Cable is for conformists who want to take their lives too fast, and that 90 KB/s is a good, chill speed. Y'know, across everything. So most things are only able to download at about 20 KB/s, to avoid taxing too heavily.
Seriously?! We're paying for cable internet service, and getting lower than dial-up speeds?
Hey, Cablevision! When life gives me lemons, I don't make lemonade. I give the lemons back! Do you know who I am? I am the guy who is going to burn your house down. WITH LEMONS. I'm going to invent a combustible lemon and burn your house down with it!
Oh-ho-hoooo... But really. Screw you, Cablevision. Screw you and your useless-ass Optimum Online service.
Well, guess I'll just go play some of the single player games I had downloaded from when the service -wasn't- crap. Alone. On my perfectly functional gaming computer with the internet abilities to rival a 1992 IBM. :c
On a related note, sincerest apologies to everyone who I'd promised to play games with this summer. If this doesn't improve, that may become but a distant dream... ;_;
Seriously?! We're paying for cable internet service, and getting lower than dial-up speeds?
Hey, Cablevision! When life gives me lemons, I don't make lemonade. I give the lemons back! Do you know who I am? I am the guy who is going to burn your house down. WITH LEMONS. I'm going to invent a combustible lemon and burn your house down with it!
Oh-ho-hoooo... But really. Screw you, Cablevision. Screw you and your useless-ass Optimum Online service.
Well, guess I'll just go play some of the single player games I had downloaded from when the service -wasn't- crap. Alone. On my perfectly functional gaming computer with the internet abilities to rival a 1992 IBM. :c
On a related note, sincerest apologies to everyone who I'd promised to play games with this summer. If this doesn't improve, that may become but a distant dream... ;_;
Also, I'm glad. I hope it maybe made you smile. Y'all deserve a little joy for putting up with my rare ranty journals. :3
and yes i smiled :). shoot it took me about five days just to get to that part but it was well worth the lols =3
I've determined that the problem is that they simply don't have enough overall bandwidth to support peak hours of computer use, so between, say,... 2PM and midnight, speed drops like a rock piloting a lead zeppelin. And there's no alternative to go to. :c
But remember, ground down moon rocks are pure poison. So, uhhh... at least youre not deathly ill!
You then research how fast your internet is supposed to be and see if there's a guarantee or a minimum speed they're to provide, do 3 speed tests, take the average, and that's what you pay them, giving them that explanation if they call.
...of course, I'd only do this if I had both the problems and the testicular fortitude to try and stiff a company like that. And not have to worry about my credit being damaged.
Still, though, I am sorry to hear your connection's so bad. I hope that the problem is worked out or works itself out.
The first is that this company is the only game in town. They effectively have us doomed by monopoly to tolerate them at this point in time. We're hoping that Verison FiOs will make it to this area eventually so that we can switch without a second thought.
Second is that, while they advertise a maximum speed, they have no written minimum speed to speak of. This, of course, enables them to justify letting my connection drop to a ping of 600 and a download speed that averaged at 20 KB/s last night until midnight, and hit a low of 9KB/s. Because they never said that the connection speed would never drop below a certain point, just that it would never go above 15 MB/s, and that that should not be the -expected- speed (in the fine print.)
I am going to punch them in every genital they own. :c
I ALSO HAVE CABLEVISION.
...
CRAP.
WELCOME TO DIE!
DEATH BY SLOW CONNECTION.
SO SLOW, YOUR VEINS CAN'T DOWNLOAD BLOOD FROM YOUR CENTRAL HEART-HUB FAST ENOUGH TO KEEP YOUR CELLS ALIVE.