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I hate my life + icon info
18 years ago
Icons are mostly done... I have about 3 to upload and a few I'm working on. After I upload this journal, I'm not taking anymore. I do them all by hand, so none of them are the same. It's just... I dunno, I wanna animate something else now. D:
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You know that deer head I took and cleaned? Oh my god, it was so clean. I had to take some foam and Model Magic to even rebuild its' skull cavity because it was so damaged (but at least I didn't have to scrape out brains) and I mounted the antlers on it. It'd been sitting in our barn-garage for a few days while I let everything dry on it, but a stray cat got in there, and I moved it into my bedroom to avoid it being damaged... my cats stay in there at night and I didn't want cat fights to cause it to fall. And my kitties like to rub on the antlers... but it was like one day away from being strong enough to be stuck on my wall.
In my room, it was on a ledge near my fireplace. My dogs know better than to eat my shit... plus, I spend most of my time down there, so I can keep an eye on things. My bedroom does not have a door (cuz it's some weird basement thing).
My aunt comes over while we are not home... and leaves one of her dogs in the living room, one in the kitchen. She's got two hyperactive dogs who I don't like much to begin with. She closes all of the doors so her dog can only get into... MY ROOM.
When she told me this, we were at lunch. And my eyes went O.O and I turned to my sister and said, "My deer. MY DEER. I'm going to kill them if they eat my deer." My sister tells my aunt this, and she says "Pfft, no she won't." My sister tells her that I'll cry, and my aunt goes "Oh well."
I WAS LIVID.
ANYWAYS, we get home, I rush inside to find her fucking rat terrier with one of the antlers. I shoo him outside, and her OTHER dog, a Lab puppy, got out of the kitchen. I shoo her outside, too, then look in the living room. My deer... My deer skull.. was turned to dust all over my mom's couch. My sister comes in and goes... "oh..." and hugs me and I start BAWLING. She helped me clean it up, too... then my dad walks in, starts (jokingly) talking shit to me, and I snap at him and start crying more. Then my mom and aunt come in, see me frantically cleaning and sobbing and THEN... THEN MY AUNT FEELS BAD. She was like "ooooh, what can I do?" and I just said, "leave me alone... nothing.." Plus, her fucking dirtbags shit all over the place... as if smelly bone-dust wasn't bad enough to clean up.
I feel bad for being snappy towards her, but what the FUCK did I go through to get the head? HM? TWO WEEKS WORTH OF WORK DOWN THE GODDAMNED DRAIN FOR NOTHING... SO HER PRECIOUS DOGS WHO ARE TOO FUCKING GOOD TO GO OUT IN THE YARD WITH OUR DOGS COULD HAVE A SNACK?! And I almost lost my lunch a few times, like when I had to clean out half of an EYE, when I had to CUT it off and NOT TO MENTION I lost my appetite for a few days. :P
I hope they get sick! Fuckers, I never want to see them ever fucking again. I'm not mad at my aunt, but I just want to know WHY she couldn't put them out in the yard. Fuck.
I think I'm more mad that no one has EVER taken me seriously until I'm screaming at people and in tears.
So... All I have left are the antlers (one with dog damage), the jaws with dog damage, part of the skull (one eye socket with teeth) and one chunk of the other side of the skull... You know, atleast I still DO have the antlers, but if I wanted just those, I would've just cut them off. I'm considering getting out my Super Sculpey and rebuilding it, but I don't think I'm good enough. But, my dad was totally there for me... after I cleaned everything up, I went into the yard and was trying to relax, and he came up to me and hugged me... he totally knew how I felt. He said, "I know it was important to you... it was special because YOU found it, YOU cleaned it. We can look for another one for you.. I know it won't be the same, but if you want.." so he's thinking about getting me a bison skull.
A few hours later, my mom and aunt were cleaning or something outside, and they found the half of the deer face I had to remove (eye area and cheeks) and my aunt was like "OOOH, I didn't know you CLEANED it."
NYUHHHHDURRHURR.
Oh, and in 10 days, Noval is visiting. But oh, GUESS WHAT! Apparently, we're horny 16 year olds and not allowed to sleep in the same bed or ROOM for that matter! But to be blunt, we're horny ADULTS who are SMART enough to fuck around WHEN NO ONE IS FLIPPIN' HOME.
When he visited the first time, we slept in the same bed, but all of a sudden IT'S BAD?! WTF. I NEED TO MOVE THE HELL OUT. I need to graduate already, but I graduate next July.
I hate my life.
Oh, and one more thing. I wouldn't be so bitter if people didn't make fun of me. I hate being made fun of. Right now, it's all the rage to make fun of me for cleaning dead animals. Oh my god, that's so funny! Hahaha. I'll get a job with a fucking taxidermist cleaning shit and I'll make good money, THEN see how they'll make fun of me. DURR HURR HURRRRRRRRRRFUCK.
I have some art to upload, but it will have to wait.
_______________________________________________________
You know that deer head I took and cleaned? Oh my god, it was so clean. I had to take some foam and Model Magic to even rebuild its' skull cavity because it was so damaged (but at least I didn't have to scrape out brains) and I mounted the antlers on it. It'd been sitting in our barn-garage for a few days while I let everything dry on it, but a stray cat got in there, and I moved it into my bedroom to avoid it being damaged... my cats stay in there at night and I didn't want cat fights to cause it to fall. And my kitties like to rub on the antlers... but it was like one day away from being strong enough to be stuck on my wall.
In my room, it was on a ledge near my fireplace. My dogs know better than to eat my shit... plus, I spend most of my time down there, so I can keep an eye on things. My bedroom does not have a door (cuz it's some weird basement thing).
My aunt comes over while we are not home... and leaves one of her dogs in the living room, one in the kitchen. She's got two hyperactive dogs who I don't like much to begin with. She closes all of the doors so her dog can only get into... MY ROOM.
When she told me this, we were at lunch. And my eyes went O.O and I turned to my sister and said, "My deer. MY DEER. I'm going to kill them if they eat my deer." My sister tells my aunt this, and she says "Pfft, no she won't." My sister tells her that I'll cry, and my aunt goes "Oh well."
I WAS LIVID.
ANYWAYS, we get home, I rush inside to find her fucking rat terrier with one of the antlers. I shoo him outside, and her OTHER dog, a Lab puppy, got out of the kitchen. I shoo her outside, too, then look in the living room. My deer... My deer skull.. was turned to dust all over my mom's couch. My sister comes in and goes... "oh..." and hugs me and I start BAWLING. She helped me clean it up, too... then my dad walks in, starts (jokingly) talking shit to me, and I snap at him and start crying more. Then my mom and aunt come in, see me frantically cleaning and sobbing and THEN... THEN MY AUNT FEELS BAD. She was like "ooooh, what can I do?" and I just said, "leave me alone... nothing.." Plus, her fucking dirtbags shit all over the place... as if smelly bone-dust wasn't bad enough to clean up.
I feel bad for being snappy towards her, but what the FUCK did I go through to get the head? HM? TWO WEEKS WORTH OF WORK DOWN THE GODDAMNED DRAIN FOR NOTHING... SO HER PRECIOUS DOGS WHO ARE TOO FUCKING GOOD TO GO OUT IN THE YARD WITH OUR DOGS COULD HAVE A SNACK?! And I almost lost my lunch a few times, like when I had to clean out half of an EYE, when I had to CUT it off and NOT TO MENTION I lost my appetite for a few days. :P
I hope they get sick! Fuckers, I never want to see them ever fucking again. I'm not mad at my aunt, but I just want to know WHY she couldn't put them out in the yard. Fuck.
I think I'm more mad that no one has EVER taken me seriously until I'm screaming at people and in tears.
So... All I have left are the antlers (one with dog damage), the jaws with dog damage, part of the skull (one eye socket with teeth) and one chunk of the other side of the skull... You know, atleast I still DO have the antlers, but if I wanted just those, I would've just cut them off. I'm considering getting out my Super Sculpey and rebuilding it, but I don't think I'm good enough. But, my dad was totally there for me... after I cleaned everything up, I went into the yard and was trying to relax, and he came up to me and hugged me... he totally knew how I felt. He said, "I know it was important to you... it was special because YOU found it, YOU cleaned it. We can look for another one for you.. I know it won't be the same, but if you want.." so he's thinking about getting me a bison skull.
A few hours later, my mom and aunt were cleaning or something outside, and they found the half of the deer face I had to remove (eye area and cheeks) and my aunt was like "OOOH, I didn't know you CLEANED it."
NYUHHHHDURRHURR.
Oh, and in 10 days, Noval is visiting. But oh, GUESS WHAT! Apparently, we're horny 16 year olds and not allowed to sleep in the same bed or ROOM for that matter! But to be blunt, we're horny ADULTS who are SMART enough to fuck around WHEN NO ONE IS FLIPPIN' HOME.
When he visited the first time, we slept in the same bed, but all of a sudden IT'S BAD?! WTF. I NEED TO MOVE THE HELL OUT. I need to graduate already, but I graduate next July.
I hate my life.
Oh, and one more thing. I wouldn't be so bitter if people didn't make fun of me. I hate being made fun of. Right now, it's all the rage to make fun of me for cleaning dead animals. Oh my god, that's so funny! Hahaha. I'll get a job with a fucking taxidermist cleaning shit and I'll make good money, THEN see how they'll make fun of me. DURR HURR HURRRRRRRRRRFUCK.
I have some art to upload, but it will have to wait.
I like dogs, but no fucking way, I'd /literally/ kick them out if at all possible. I can't stand it when people spoil their animals as if they were people, all you get is a misbehaving animal...
Thats nice your Dad was being supportive later on though, recognizing you were hurting bad an' all.
lol, and I know that feeling of being treated like a kid when it comes to your significant other, it sucks. XD
Thats so nice you two will be able to see each other though and be together.
Just take care of though **hugsagain**
...I know you worked really, really hard on that skull. There's nothing funny about it, that shows some damn determination and perseverence on your part, and I can say that knowing how squeamish you and I both are. Also knowing that road kill isn't something that you just cut up like a steak.
Now I know why you really don't like those dogs. I can totally feel ya now. If that was MY skull they'd gotten to...I'd be crying and booting them out of the house at the same time.
And...I take you seriously! *waves arms around, holding up hearts in each hand* But I know whatcha mean...it's the same way for me. It's a cold day in hell (or an actual blizzard in our city) when family takes you seriously until things get reeeeeeeeeal bad. I understand what that's like. And I'm so sorry that this happened! Know it's not my fault but...you did a lot of work on that skull. Did you keep that piece that was found?
-/n-
Uhg I know what you mean though. My aunt was like that with her german shepards BEFORE she trained them... Then after she trained them she left them outside... go figure. Yeah we also kinda taught her a lesson after her dogs chewed up my science project that I was working on for months and was due the next day. She didnt even give me a sorry (I had skulped each bone out of skulpy clay of a T-Rex and then put it together! It was fun but a worthless project when it gets eaten.).
She was a painter. So one day when she came over and left her dogs in our house where once again they could get to my room, my dad removed all the stuff in my room that was out, replaced all of it with a LOT of her paintings along with her purse and a few other things and when she came back to see it all destroyed she really didnt care... at first. She thought it was my stuff. I was devistated because I thought it was my stuff too. My dad started laughing, I kinda hit him in the stomach and ran into my room. She looks at the mess and goes "You know, you should really learn to put your things away, this wouldnt happen if you werent such a slob." After a few minutes I started laughing and she retorted back with a "What are you laughing at? Finally realize Im right?", I smiled, wiped away the left over tears and went "No. I just realized that these were all your things. Isnt this fabric from your purse? Im pretty sure these paper shreds are your reciepts and ... Your drivers licence... maybe?"
She was so pissed off but I dont think she ever let those dogs stay inside ever again. She also finally got them trained and never came over again. Cant say that upset us too much either.
Uhg, your aunt kinda sounds like a really cold bitch. Not trying to be mean but why couldnt she take you seriously when you said "Look this is really important to me!!" the first time? Why did it take you physically getting upset?? Maybe I just think you deserve more respect than that :< *hugs* I really hope you find another one soon hun. Like you dad said, it wont be the same but it will atleast be yours again, right?
Still sucks though :/
When my mom was watching my sisters kids, i put a locking knob on my door to keep them out of my room..
So what does she do, she teaches them how to open the lock, by letting them watch her open it..
I come home to find my drawing table in disary and three years worth of sketchbooks scribbled allover with marks-a-lot markers.. i couldn't salvage anything.. i was really pissed off..
an she was like, oh they were just coloring your pictures..
That really sucks, sounds like you put a lot of work into it. I don't understand how people would make fun of you for it...they probably wouldn't even have the balls to do it if someone bet them to. Even though like your father said it won't be same one, I do hope you get another one that you'll enjoy.
Gah, I am so PISSED for you. Cleaning any kind of animal is just *HOARK*. I'm so so sorry, dude. :( *MASSIVE HUGS*
I'M GOING TO VISIT YOU SOMEDAY.
IF YOUR AUNT'S THERE, THOUGH, I WILL BRING DEAD ANIMALS AND LIKE... PUT THEM IN HER PURSE WITH A NOTE THAT SAYS 'KILL OR I SHALL EAT YOUR CHILDREN. AND YOUR FUCKING HUMAN BORN TOO'. D<
I apologize if I am rambling. I am trying to say that I am sorry to hear you had to deal with a tidal wave of pure raw saddness and anger and frustration because of the stupidity of others. Or them not using what some call "common sense". granted I read from somewhere a quote, which is the equivilant of "In this day and age, the term common sense isn't as common as it should be." Or something. I wish I could be of help to help you feel better.
I do hope you and Noval being together will make you feel a bit better. And, if you wish, please feel free to come to talk to me if you are still upset about it. I would be more then willing to be one to listen if it could help you feel better, as I get the sense that this is still a very strong thing.
I know I'm a bit late in replying, but can I shoot them for you?
in other news, you need to talk to my friend Zhon.. she's an awesome taxidermist, and very young too. http:\zhon.deviantart.com