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Thor! The god of the blockbuster that wasn't.
14 years ago
Thor was two hours of exposition with brief intervals of action that didn’t make sense, keep me occupied or further the plot in any way. The movie is chock-full of well known and accomplished actors and an award winning director and yet still manages to not tell a story, have any decent acting, any character development or any rationale to try to compress thirty years worth of comics into two hours.
For anyone who is even a tangent fan of the Mighty Thor, don’t see it. The idea that Asgardians are gods is done away with. The idea that Odin is really actually powerful is done away with. The idea that the rainbow bridge is actually a rainbow bridge is done away with. This is really just an answer to the question of what if a guy dressed like marvel comics’ Thor had been on the last season of Stargate SG-1.
The acting was non-existent. The “characters” were really just character names with costumes hung on them. The less fortunate ones were really just costumes with a couple of lines of dialogue hung on them. The only way the acting resources involved in this movie could have been more poorly employed was if this movie had had the same cast and been a remake of a Three Stooges short.
I could go into more specifics, but that would require me to try to remember yet another movie that pissed on my childhood because it could get away with it.
If you’re a fan of the good old days when Marvel Comics could tell a story, stay home, read your comics and maybe watch Iron Man again. If you’re a fan of big special effects with no real rationale, Thor is the movie for you, but then you’d be equally impressed with a big hand coming down out of the sky with a big set of keys, saying, “Look at the shiny-shiny!!”
For anyone who is even a tangent fan of the Mighty Thor, don’t see it. The idea that Asgardians are gods is done away with. The idea that Odin is really actually powerful is done away with. The idea that the rainbow bridge is actually a rainbow bridge is done away with. This is really just an answer to the question of what if a guy dressed like marvel comics’ Thor had been on the last season of Stargate SG-1.
The acting was non-existent. The “characters” were really just character names with costumes hung on them. The less fortunate ones were really just costumes with a couple of lines of dialogue hung on them. The only way the acting resources involved in this movie could have been more poorly employed was if this movie had had the same cast and been a remake of a Three Stooges short.
I could go into more specifics, but that would require me to try to remember yet another movie that pissed on my childhood because it could get away with it.
If you’re a fan of the good old days when Marvel Comics could tell a story, stay home, read your comics and maybe watch Iron Man again. If you’re a fan of big special effects with no real rationale, Thor is the movie for you, but then you’d be equally impressed with a big hand coming down out of the sky with a big set of keys, saying, “Look at the shiny-shiny!!”
Eh, I've not really been interested in Thor, so I wasn't gonna see it anyway.
So the movie was a case of damned if they got it wrong, and damned if they got it right -- it would still be stupid.
At least it's likely Marvel knew what it was. I remember some of those Not-Brand Ech! comics, where the rainbow bridge -- whose real name was Bifrost -- was corrupted into "beef roast", causing the fat Viking god to eat it.