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Unresearched Hate
14 years ago
General
Dear Internet,
There is a thing. This thing is generally popular, well known and well liked. Or it might not be that well known, but the people who like it are adherent fans. Or it might be very well known and moderately liked by most... Regardless, I hate this thing. It is crappy and stupid and sucks. Although I have never used, watched, played, or had any personal interactions with this thing, due to the size of my own ego, I am nevertheless awesomely qualified to judge its value. Using my standard tools (prejudice) I do so, and I find it sorely wanting.
Furthermore, as someone who hates it, and is on the Internet, I feel it is my duty to let you all know that I hate it. Even though most of you probably like it, or at least are ambivalent about it. To justify my position I cherry-pick specific examples of its flaws (that I have heard second-, third-, or fourth-hand) while completely ignoring any mitigating factors or good points, and affording no room for a broadly encompassing assessment. These specific examples clearly illustrate the thing's lack of perfection, and by extrapolation, it is obvious that the thing must therefore be utterly woeful in every possible respect.
I emphasize this point by needlessly insulting anyone who disagrees with my impeccable logic. Idiots. (In addition, I may parenthetically suggest that the thing only has value insofar as it can be obtained for free via illegal channels, thereby also illustrating my keen grasp of ethics.)
In conclusion, the thing sucks and ought to be destroyed. I am happy to suggest ways in which this might take place. Favourites include the standard epithet that it ought "fuck off", as well as the perennially enjoyed suggestion that it "die in a fire". Please see that it undergoes any (or all) of these suggested methods of destruction as soon as possible.
Sincerely,
Pretentious Fucktard
There is a thing. This thing is generally popular, well known and well liked. Or it might not be that well known, but the people who like it are adherent fans. Or it might be very well known and moderately liked by most... Regardless, I hate this thing. It is crappy and stupid and sucks. Although I have never used, watched, played, or had any personal interactions with this thing, due to the size of my own ego, I am nevertheless awesomely qualified to judge its value. Using my standard tools (prejudice) I do so, and I find it sorely wanting.
Furthermore, as someone who hates it, and is on the Internet, I feel it is my duty to let you all know that I hate it. Even though most of you probably like it, or at least are ambivalent about it. To justify my position I cherry-pick specific examples of its flaws (that I have heard second-, third-, or fourth-hand) while completely ignoring any mitigating factors or good points, and affording no room for a broadly encompassing assessment. These specific examples clearly illustrate the thing's lack of perfection, and by extrapolation, it is obvious that the thing must therefore be utterly woeful in every possible respect.
I emphasize this point by needlessly insulting anyone who disagrees with my impeccable logic. Idiots. (In addition, I may parenthetically suggest that the thing only has value insofar as it can be obtained for free via illegal channels, thereby also illustrating my keen grasp of ethics.)
In conclusion, the thing sucks and ought to be destroyed. I am happy to suggest ways in which this might take place. Favourites include the standard epithet that it ought "fuck off", as well as the perennially enjoyed suggestion that it "die in a fire". Please see that it undergoes any (or all) of these suggested methods of destruction as soon as possible.
Sincerely,
Pretentious Fucktard
Full disclosure, I'm not immune to this myself. But being conscious of it means one can catch oneself in the act, and challenge it.
Heh. You win 3 internets!
Actually, note to self: Girls in fishnets.
I hate MLP too!
As an avid enjoyer of the thing, I feel it is my duty to rebuke your claims regarding the thing. I shall procede to do so through the use of poorly selected examples, non-sequitors, insults, and foul language. Furthermore, I would like to suggest that your avid interest in expressing your hatred for the thing actually pegs you as a closet fan of the thing.
In closing, I'd like to inform you that your dislike of the thing calls into question your sexual orientation, your genetalia size, and/or your ability to engage in sexual activities.
Yours,
Asshole Fan
Please forgive the lack of any substantially informative rebuttal to your comment as I have recently engaged in sexual congress with your mother. She was indeed most appreciative.
I hope this clears up any confusion about my sexual proclivity.
Regards,
Pretentious Fucktard