Maybe its just how my life is these days.. the fact that despite my great past I seem to get shat on by employers and potential employer... but thats not what I am here to talk about, I have done far too much of that.

I have been having so many bouts of "nostalgia desire" seeing as I have started playing Sven Coop again (a real epic Half-Life mod that I played with all my friends in highschool). Its honestly not only that, I could go on for ever. Watching Dragonball Z, Playing Half-life, Playing SNES with titles like Yoshi's Island and Super Mario World, Digging through my mountains of junk in my closet and pulling out old high-school electronics projects, finding old posters I drew up years ago.

All this I find constantly takes me back to a time where all my worries consisted of getting good grades, making it to classes and over-active sex drive lol (or shall I say "normal" for a 16-18yr old Drake Wingfire) Really the most striking memories for me are of my old house, fuck. Despite all the fights with my parents, my utter lack of friends and being stripped away from childhood ones when I moved there so long ago, I constantly find myself missing that place. The sheer ammount of memories is overwhelming.

Was the first time I "awakened" into the Draconic/ Otherkin community (one of my most fond memories as it started a entire new chapter in my life where I didn't feel like I was in a closed-off daze) which eventually lead me to the Furry Fandom where I happily rest to this very day, it was the same place I first discovered my own homosexuality and even had a few mates over the years I lived there which I got to meet and... such ~.=.^, I made a few good high-school friends and we would hang out ever so often, doing things like PC gaming, having bon-fires and god knows what else. I developed my art skills, started to experiment with electronics. I guess what I really miss is really having a complete family. It may seem "out of character" for me as many of my closer friends probably are thinking, but really I just miss the cliche family stuff, having dinners and a general peaceful family where we would go for lill trips or see movies and such.

I truly just miss living at that old house because of how many fond memories I have there, the place I live in now is more or less a broken home garnished with a life sinking into mediocrity and the sad reality that I will no longer have the fun school classes like I use to years ago or how I will really never get to truly hang out with my friends and goof off since they are all work-a-holics and only sleep any time they are off. I didn't worry about money back then or driving. My life was school, improving my art, delving into my Dragon side, gaming it up with my friends and simply just having a typical life of a 18yr old gay boy lol and looking back I wish I savored every second of it. Every picture, every giddy gay chat with guys, every tech class, hell ever every gaming session with my awesome friends.

Some days I wish I could turn the clock back to 2006... or hell, give me a time machine and a solid week or two of my very own past without my current worries/ attachments, you would see the real me upon my return I can guarantee it.