How fucking horrible a man Willy Wonka is? Not only does he enact systematic child endangerment and theoretical slavery, but he fires all of his workers and closes his factory the very second his giant candy monopoly is threatened. Dude, if you're worried about losing money over your inventions, PATENT THAT SHIT YOU IDIOT! Not only would they have to buy the rights from you, they have to pay you royalty money for their stock sold!

Wonka is no businessman, and is a terrible tyrant who adopts a whole race of endangered beings, AGAIN putting them into slavery, with no wages, only cocoa beans. Yeah, okay, it's what they want but at the very least give them a goddamn break now and then, how long would it take to not only teach them english, but also choreography for those dances and songs? Not to mention, you hired these creatures, and never ONCE thought of rehiring all of those workers again. Yes, you're worried about someone stealing your shit, but as I said before, patent it for christ sakes!

I mean come on, in the Gene Wilder version, he specifically gives all of these kids the gobstoppers, full well knowing they'd never keep the secret. Maybe he just knew he'd MURDER them all by the end.

Fuck you WIlly Wonka, you and your surprisingly enticing movies. /end rant