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Stockings and Boots [inane blabber]
14 years ago
Stockings and boots stockings and boots stockings and boots... My head hurts I think I'm getting another headache. Every time I see a girl in stockings and boots I get this dreadful shot of pure jealousy. It's been that way since I was a kid now that I recall. I have always loved stockings, no idea why but meh.
I wrote a journal earlier about what I wanted to do on my two days off... I guess if it stops raining I want to take pictures... but what do I want to photograph... stockings and boots that's what... I'm waaay too creepy for my liking. Yeah that will be great I'll become some pretty girl who takes pictures of other girl's stockings and boots FANTASTIC IDEA CREEPY WEIRDO! >.> I just hurt my own feelings.
What's that- I seem upset or edgy, YES I AM!!! NONSTOP EMOTIONS THESE LAST TWO DAYS ALL I WANT TO DO IS SLEEP AND CRY AND EAT ICECREAM!!! WTF IS GOING ON!!! I HAVE ASKED AROUND AND PMS IS IMPOSSIBLE UNTIL HORMONES THEN WHAT IS GOING ON WHY IS THIS ONCE A MONTH?! WHY IS IT UNCONTROLLABLE?!?! WHY IS IT ACCOMPANIED BY THE DESIRE FOR SWEET THINGS?!?!?! I'm not even angry, I'm being so sincere right now. (shut up I did that on purpose)
I want to do stuff but I just can't be bothered, I'm so worn out from being overemotional. I'm worried about family, my sister who is direly ill with Chrones disease a sickness where her immune system is compramised and she has to face INUMERABLE challenges at the age of 14 like being on steroids, having a hole in her stomache and the risk of death. Stress makes her ill... so what does she do when she finds out one of her friends is doing drugs... being she's the balsiest person I know she tells the girl's sister and basically causes an intervention
AND Narc's on the drug dealer dealing to her school... I am proud of her for having so much bravery but ugh the stress associated. She won't be friends with anyone who does drugs... I guess it shouldn't relate but it further terrifies me that I am about to transition... I wonder if she will be able to handle it or if she'll cut me out entirely... she loves me as her brother and looks to me to be such... ugh to hell with this journal I quit I'll try again tomorrow
I wrote a journal earlier about what I wanted to do on my two days off... I guess if it stops raining I want to take pictures... but what do I want to photograph... stockings and boots that's what... I'm waaay too creepy for my liking. Yeah that will be great I'll become some pretty girl who takes pictures of other girl's stockings and boots FANTASTIC IDEA CREEPY WEIRDO! >.> I just hurt my own feelings.
What's that- I seem upset or edgy, YES I AM!!! NONSTOP EMOTIONS THESE LAST TWO DAYS ALL I WANT TO DO IS SLEEP AND CRY AND EAT ICECREAM!!! WTF IS GOING ON!!! I HAVE ASKED AROUND AND PMS IS IMPOSSIBLE UNTIL HORMONES THEN WHAT IS GOING ON WHY IS THIS ONCE A MONTH?! WHY IS IT UNCONTROLLABLE?!?! WHY IS IT ACCOMPANIED BY THE DESIRE FOR SWEET THINGS?!?!?! I'm not even angry, I'm being so sincere right now. (shut up I did that on purpose)
I want to do stuff but I just can't be bothered, I'm so worn out from being overemotional. I'm worried about family, my sister who is direly ill with Chrones disease a sickness where her immune system is compramised and she has to face INUMERABLE challenges at the age of 14 like being on steroids, having a hole in her stomache and the risk of death. Stress makes her ill... so what does she do when she finds out one of her friends is doing drugs... being she's the balsiest person I know she tells the girl's sister and basically causes an intervention
AND Narc's on the drug dealer dealing to her school... I am proud of her for having so much bravery but ugh the stress associated. She won't be friends with anyone who does drugs... I guess it shouldn't relate but it further terrifies me that I am about to transition... I wonder if she will be able to handle it or if she'll cut me out entirely... she loves me as her brother and looks to me to be such... ugh to hell with this journal I quit I'll try again tomorrow
Perhaps a hot mug of Green Tea and taking time to sit, relax, and sip it will help. Works for me 8-)
She may be loosing a brother....
However, she is gaining a sister!