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I need a vacation
14 years ago
And i need it away from my family, they're the ones causing me so much stress. If it gets to that point in your life you know its horrid. I swear, seems like no matter what i do my mom is PISSED OFF AT ME, because she's STRESSED, causing me stress. She doesn't care because she has a JOB, and I DON'T. That is her reasoning because "I DON' KNOW WHAT THE REAL WORLD IS LIKE" WTF? I don't know what the worlds like? She doesn't have autism, and she doesn't go to high school, possibly the worst part of any persons life to begin with, magnified by autism. The reason I'm so pissed off is really stupid. They like to yell at me from the base of the stairs, i like to shut my bedroom door, and i usually have a fan on. pus the t.v. I cant hear them. they get mad at me by thinking that I'm ignoring them, They yell five times, they are both smokers, and they can barely make their voices carry over all of it. And by the last time they are so pissed that no pleasantries will be taking place anywhere within the next hour. Now, in my mind yelling = trouble. Or whenever someone asks me to "Come here" my mind automatically goes to trouble. My dad would always yell at me, claiming "Its the only way anything gets into your head" He also, liberally used the phrase "Come Here" usually while growling/yelling it out. Not a real man you want to father your children with let me assure you. Godzilla + Tokyo = My dad. I blame him for alot of my problems particularly self esteem wise. People say, well if he's out of your life now then whats the problem? The problem is that if you tell someone long enough they are something and they say it long enough you see yourself as such, and lets say he calls more people stupid then you can shake a stick at along with. but not limited to, dumbass, stupid fuck/s, stupid shit, and retard.
But the years almost over. I'm getting closer to my finals, and i am an honor role student. but need a vacation away from my family issues and sorry for the rant, it just helps me.
But the years almost over. I'm getting closer to my finals, and i am an honor role student. but need a vacation away from my family issues and sorry for the rant, it just helps me.
I agree that it's really easy to say that since he's not there any more he shouldn't affect you, but it's not that simple. However, it may be my iron-will logic, but I wouldn't give somebody that belittled me that much the satisfaction. I don't know if it's the same with you, but most of the time I am my own worst critic. I will tell myself that I'm worthless or stupid when nobody else says a word. If you find yourself internally repeating the shitty things you've been told. Stop it. Whenever you notice it, back it up. Tell yourself something positive instead. Even if it's just, "I'm going to do better" or "it's not the end of the world" say what you can.
Feel better buddy. :D Also, it's not a real vacation but you can find a lot of awesome people anthrochat.irc #furrycoffeeshop :3 Or, if you'd like to just talk to me, I have the same screen name on there. :)