There's at least one person who places a significant amount of value on you. She's the one lying prone, heartsick for you as she reads this, carefully choosing the words you read now.

You're the first friend I remember having. The focus of my earliest, happiest memories. I frequently think of moving to Ontario once I'm done college - admittedly, that other side of it, with the grass that looks oh so green. There are animation and film studios, the Great Lakes, a man south of the border across one of those lakes that I've fallen for, a good deal of my gaming buddies are in that time zone, and you're there. Note the last three points, those are all people. A wise man once told me, after I admitted BC's lower mainland wasn't all I was expecting it to be, "You'll only love a place as much you love the friends you have there". There's also another quote that comes to mind, though for the life of me I can't remember where I read it. My paraphrase: "If an unhappy person packs up and moves to a new place, they won't enjoy it any more than the last one, because they're still there."

Of course, these are both coming from more social people than myself. I've learned from my struggles with depression that the best way to keep your friends around is to appear happy even when you're feeling down. I'm not saying you should do this for me; I'll always be willing to lend an ear when you need it. But most people are just faking their joy so they don't bring others down. We've all got shit going on just behind the mask we wear. It's unhealthy, these masks are a plague on society, but that's how it is - you wear the mask around people, when you're not around the ones you want to stay, you take it off and reflect and try to work things out, perhaps with the aid of a therapist, to find the happiness within. One thing that always helps is to set a goal you know you can achieve - be it something as ambitious as running a marathon or something as silly as acheiving a personal best in Robot Unicorn Attack (*cough**points to self*guilty*cough*).

I can empathize with part of what you're feeling, the whole everything you want just being out of arm's reach thing. It's ben roughly four years since high school, and here I am, scrambling yet again to get my portfolio ready and face potential rejection-or-missed-deadline-yet-again. In my case, I have to wonder if it's self-sabotage, if I've somehow grown comfortable flitting between unemployment and shit customer service jobs while saying "this year's the year" and crossing my fingers. In yours, is it just the one course you need? If so, hang in there, you're almost finished. If there's more than that to do, cliché I know, but break it down into baby steps; it'll be more manageable.

Here's hoping things get better.

I have friends all over and they make me super happy especially at the Sarnia meet. :)
Thanks for your help and friendship. *hugs*

if it makes you feel even slightly better (assuming you even remember me) I didn't drift into some exclusive group, or stop liking anyone... I kinda just stopped talking to... everyone I knew online excluding my two best friends, I have some stuff I have to worth through in life and sadly I still haven't even begun to start on that. but hey, look on the bright side, It's better than living in north korea

I remember you Asperity. If only for the name. And things are better than North Korea XD
Thanks :)

D: *clings*

*hugs tight* Sarnia furs make me feel better :)