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I got a couple of questions. (Long)
14 years ago
General
Have you ever got that feeling that you have failed? Really failed in directing your life?
I ask that because I have that feeling. Fear and procrastination through the cold months of the winters have ruined the chance of a smooth transition from student to a professional in my field. This last month when a bunch of events happened; a graduation for my mother, a funeral for my uncle, a vacation for myself and a reacquaintance with my family among other smaller events, I reflected upon myself and concluded that it is time to make a change, because the ststus quo is not the answer, it will be the toxic bile that I take every day.
I intend to start commissions as a last resort, putting hope into pursuing a start in the animation field, or getting into either the Gnomon School, The Guildhall, or some other school in order to be better prepared to go into those professions. I cannot go to much any cinvention because of my silent demeanor, which comes to the next question.
Is silence really Golden, or just gold plated?
After about six years of typing little on these boards, yet trying to be thoughtful with those little words, my intuition tells me that the latter is true. What makes me laugh is that the silence people talk about it's great makes you forgotten along the noise.
People talk a good game, but their actions do not follow suit. Hell, I even said to a few folks who preside in fur affinity "Don't forget all of us at the abyss!". Some would be offended by it, but sure as shit, new replaces old and well this is the old hat, dude.
(TL;DR)
I don't know what to say anymore. I am making a change in my life. People can be real shallow.
I got to get back to whatever my life is.
I ask that because I have that feeling. Fear and procrastination through the cold months of the winters have ruined the chance of a smooth transition from student to a professional in my field. This last month when a bunch of events happened; a graduation for my mother, a funeral for my uncle, a vacation for myself and a reacquaintance with my family among other smaller events, I reflected upon myself and concluded that it is time to make a change, because the ststus quo is not the answer, it will be the toxic bile that I take every day.
I intend to start commissions as a last resort, putting hope into pursuing a start in the animation field, or getting into either the Gnomon School, The Guildhall, or some other school in order to be better prepared to go into those professions. I cannot go to much any cinvention because of my silent demeanor, which comes to the next question.
Is silence really Golden, or just gold plated?
After about six years of typing little on these boards, yet trying to be thoughtful with those little words, my intuition tells me that the latter is true. What makes me laugh is that the silence people talk about it's great makes you forgotten along the noise.
People talk a good game, but their actions do not follow suit. Hell, I even said to a few folks who preside in fur affinity "Don't forget all of us at the abyss!". Some would be offended by it, but sure as shit, new replaces old and well this is the old hat, dude.
(TL;DR)
I don't know what to say anymore. I am making a change in my life. People can be real shallow.
I got to get back to whatever my life is.
Even if it's the only thing you have, keep your optomism alive, my friend.
well glad you'll do commishes just in case, least you have a way and NOT out of options.
Im sure youll make a great impact in you life.
I feel like a failure everyday. but im lucky i have family that cares and supports me, so I won't stop looking for work, find a purpose and contribute for a better life.
+tail wedige+
On the positive side, if you can do commissions quickly it would be good training for animation.If you are working ,you cant do your animation "when you feel like it " and if you do commissions quickly you could possibly make some decent spending money if not living money . Getting work in the animation field is very hard.A lot of talented people havent been able to.Its always good to follow your dreams.Its also good to have back up plans (multiple) and be someone willing to work in related fields too while you network and look for opportunities.
I am pretty sure that with the media I use, commissions are inefficient processes no matter how quick I make them on paper. I increased my speed, and you do not get a college degree for doing whatever you want so, I got to think of either more education or some kind of plan to get hired.
Anybody can get popular here by being ubiquitous... commenting excessively, uploading endless non-challenging exercises in repetition/derivation, hopping on every possible "free art" offer, or even going so far as to buy a drawing from someone else once a week or more. Anything to get their character everywhere, their icon linked to, or what have you. I appreciate that you don't do any of these things! (eh, to my knowledge) I may not have said that in the past, because I'm afraid to alienate people who do. Because I'm a coward. If you've stuck up for yourself and regretted it, I say that you shouldn't in the slightest. If you are open-minded and empathetic, and I think you are, then it is hard to be wrong.
More realistically, off the internet, the more important matter at hand? I have no idea. Or less than none, sometimes. The more I struggle in basic art classes the more I also suspect my own personal goals will have to be something I do in my free time for no money. I don't feel like a total failure yet, but I get closer. Yet it might not be that bad. If I can make myself laugh with a drawing then it's not a waste. Don't ever stop drawing roosters, frogs, and skeletons with fancy dingle bell collars. I don't know anybody else who does. Or draw something commonplace, and let whiners like my previous paragraph howl at the moon about it. It is you who matter. But don't stop challenging yourself, either.
Gosh I think that was longer than your jounal.
I will not stop drawing the off the beaten path stuff because I just like it.
I think it was longer! Congratulations!!