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Family Verdict
14 years ago
So I guess it's settle on the family thing. My mother called me... it's been spreading that I'm trangender... no one believes it they all think this is a phase.. I am not wanted around them when I transition. When I look like a female (though they doubt I ever can) I am not permitted to go to their house... my mother says she will still visit but I don't believe her and when I said that she may change her mind once the changes start appearing she responded "No one knows what tomorrow brings" Even my sister wants nothing to do with this..
So Iguess that's it... if I do this family is out of the picture. The feelings I feel right now are undescribeable, If I had alcohal or herbal drugs here... I don't know if I would be able to abstain... Thankfully I got rid of all the booze and the likes. My mind, I just can't believe this even though I knew it would happen...
My imediate thought is to not go through with this... can I be happy as a female with no family...can I cope... I love them all so much and we've been through alot together... but I can't just stop because they say they'll leave me... so then thoughts go to understanding how so many trans people kill themselves... now I see why and how they get the guts to do it... but I have Sultry and her alone is worth living for... so I'm stuck.... I'm lost scared and my family doesn't want to support... my mother even made sure I knew she STILL thinks I wouldn't make a very pretty girl and that I would always look like a boy because of my face...
I can't even begin to explain the conversation but that's the gyst... My mother is telling my father because she acknowledges my fear of him becoming violent when he finds out... so I wait in fear knowing that I may NEVER speak to my father again as long as I live... I could go the rest of my life never hearing from him... my birthday is August the 2nd... Who will I celebrate with...surely not my family... I have to stop I can't think right now. I'll post another journal when my VLOG updates but I just ca't write anymore
So Iguess that's it... if I do this family is out of the picture. The feelings I feel right now are undescribeable, If I had alcohal or herbal drugs here... I don't know if I would be able to abstain... Thankfully I got rid of all the booze and the likes. My mind, I just can't believe this even though I knew it would happen...
My imediate thought is to not go through with this... can I be happy as a female with no family...can I cope... I love them all so much and we've been through alot together... but I can't just stop because they say they'll leave me... so then thoughts go to understanding how so many trans people kill themselves... now I see why and how they get the guts to do it... but I have Sultry and her alone is worth living for... so I'm stuck.... I'm lost scared and my family doesn't want to support... my mother even made sure I knew she STILL thinks I wouldn't make a very pretty girl and that I would always look like a boy because of my face...
I can't even begin to explain the conversation but that's the gyst... My mother is telling my father because she acknowledges my fear of him becoming violent when he finds out... so I wait in fear knowing that I may NEVER speak to my father again as long as I live... I could go the rest of my life never hearing from him... my birthday is August the 2nd... Who will I celebrate with...surely not my family... I have to stop I can't think right now. I'll post another journal when my VLOG updates but I just ca't write anymore
Family is important, but your life is ultimately what you have to be, and live with.
Now this is my opinion but,
IF they actually care for YOU, the change should not affect how they look at you as a person. It is unfair that they are wanting you to remain they way you are when you would be happier as another gender.
I say go for it. But again that is my opinion. I will however support your decision you make. *hugs*
The most I can say as a friend, is do what you think is best for you in the long run. If they do push you away, you still have your family here on FA. I'm for whatever decision you make 100%.
I hope things turn out for the better for you.
message me if you need me.
HUGS
-Dyngo
Blood relation? More like family of the soul, we'll be your family Yuma, count on it.
You can always talk to me hon, I was worried that this might happen, but you are so strong and so beautiful, never doubt for a minute that you are gorgeous. Your mom is scared and she's lashing out because change scares people. But you have a furry family that loves you very much. <3 *huggles nuzzles* It'll be ok hun. It has to be.
Once again I cant thank our furry family enough for ya'lls kind words and gestures. I know it means alot to her to see them. The support everyone has shown her makes my heart swell. This hasnt been easy for her and its only the beginning.
*GROUP HUG*
What hurts the most is my sister not wanting anything to do with it... I am disgusted she would be like this... I would stand by her no mater what... to think the love I have for them is not mutual is devestating.
It's hard, sis, to feel alone and without any family. You of course are not alone at all, but I do understand the connections that family brings and how hard it is to loose them. I do hope they come around - maybe in time, but for now they can't accept you for all you are. They may love you, but they don't accept you, and thats quite hurtfull.
Some of it is the image of you they have in their heads - you have always been their son. It's hard for them to give that up - and they can't understand why - because its something they've never experianced - nor likely will they ever.
I know that doesn't help, but this will: I'm here for you sis. When I can be. My life is a busy one at the moment and I know it seems I'm not around, But I try to be. i love you sis - please remember that.
A wise person once said:
"Being a member of, or belonging to a group, it was a matter of choice; where you decided to live and how you decided to behave.
Membership in your nation was determined by residency and behavior. That is what connected you. That is what made you related. That is what made you a part of that family. Not your blood or your color, but where you chose to live or who to live among and how you chose to behave."
-Thaóyate Dúta, Little Crow.-
-b.1810 - d.1863-
I'm a rather simple old wolf .. altruistic by nature but also the perpetual optimist.
Hopefully, your family can someday get beyond their preconceived notions about the world and accept others for who they are..
You need to try to focus on the positive people and those who will love and support you. We have your back hun. I'm so sorry. Hopefully in time they'll grow out of their closed minds.