I like to keep a bright outlook on things somewhat, try to keep hope alive, but I can't just shake this feeling of despair that keeps creeping up on me. Maybe if I did things a bit earlier, if I cared a bit more back then I would of been able to stop myself. Can't help but think these things, regret sinking in and other things is kind of a bad mix for me to be experiencing.

Just sometimes, I wish I could go back and redo things a bit differently you know. Maybe then I wouldn't find myself wanting to punch the ground until I can't feel my hands out of frustration.

I've been told by people close to me, I can do it, I'm on my way, but...why does it feel like no matter what I do I can't undo what I've done to myself for the past 21 years of my life, damnit.