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Joel Burns, It does get better. Draft.
14 years ago
General
CNN Aired a Special about "Sissy-Boys Therapy," and after watching this special, I left feeling angry and depressed that this was allowed to happen.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art.....s-suicide.html
I stumbled upon[again] Joel Burn's Speech to the City Council in Fort Worth City, TX.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ax96cghOnY4
I was thinking of writing him.
Joel Burns,
It does get better.
After being upset so much by the recent CNN story about “Sissy-Boy” Therapy, I decided to look up your speech to the City Council. After watching, I felt compelled to write you. I have a story to share; a story about me that I feel encompasses the fear of being different, and a fear that prevented me from being myself.
Years ago, I was bullied and picked on in middle school. I was called terms that only confused me and created self-doubt. But being so young, our mind is impressionable, moldable, easily warped. Words words words… those words pushed me into a corner. I inferred that I was different, and not in a particularly good way. I avoided certain people and places; adjusted my world to fit in their own. I ended up putting on a façade. I guess you could say that I’m one to internalize and endure feelings and emotions, but you can only keep the façade going for so long. One thing that can be said: no one should ever have to question their existence on this planet.
There were two faces that I used to represent myself: My external face, cheerful and chipper presentation to the world, and my personal internal conflicting face, which would never be shown. In High School I started to develop gradations of these layers, selectively divulging personal information about myself. Then I discovered the internet. I felt that I could hide behind the big anonymous world that the Internet was [and still is to some degree]. I could talk with people who were like me. I discovered that I was indeed not alone. I feel as this kept me going.
I’m now 22. It took a while, with much contemplation and agony, but I did finally come out. I was motivated by two guy friends of mine. I watched them grow independently and then together. They now have a civil union, live together in a house in the Atlanta Suburbs. I wanted a piece of that life. There was no reason to be alone because I couldn’t muster up the courage to tell my parents. These friends urged me many times before to come out. I knew that my parents would accept and love me no matter what choice I made, or who I’d be with. I told them finally, March of this year, that I am indeed gay. They embraced me with open arms, and told me that they’d love me no matter what.
The immense weight that has lifted off my shoulders is indescribable. With certainty, I can say that my life can finally start. You were right, Joel, it does get better.
Please continue your campaign to increase awareness about bullying and its prevention.
Thoughts, Opinions?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art.....s-suicide.html
I stumbled upon[again] Joel Burn's Speech to the City Council in Fort Worth City, TX.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ax96cghOnY4
I was thinking of writing him.
Joel Burns,
It does get better.
After being upset so much by the recent CNN story about “Sissy-Boy” Therapy, I decided to look up your speech to the City Council. After watching, I felt compelled to write you. I have a story to share; a story about me that I feel encompasses the fear of being different, and a fear that prevented me from being myself.
Years ago, I was bullied and picked on in middle school. I was called terms that only confused me and created self-doubt. But being so young, our mind is impressionable, moldable, easily warped. Words words words… those words pushed me into a corner. I inferred that I was different, and not in a particularly good way. I avoided certain people and places; adjusted my world to fit in their own. I ended up putting on a façade. I guess you could say that I’m one to internalize and endure feelings and emotions, but you can only keep the façade going for so long. One thing that can be said: no one should ever have to question their existence on this planet.
There were two faces that I used to represent myself: My external face, cheerful and chipper presentation to the world, and my personal internal conflicting face, which would never be shown. In High School I started to develop gradations of these layers, selectively divulging personal information about myself. Then I discovered the internet. I felt that I could hide behind the big anonymous world that the Internet was [and still is to some degree]. I could talk with people who were like me. I discovered that I was indeed not alone. I feel as this kept me going.
I’m now 22. It took a while, with much contemplation and agony, but I did finally come out. I was motivated by two guy friends of mine. I watched them grow independently and then together. They now have a civil union, live together in a house in the Atlanta Suburbs. I wanted a piece of that life. There was no reason to be alone because I couldn’t muster up the courage to tell my parents. These friends urged me many times before to come out. I knew that my parents would accept and love me no matter what choice I made, or who I’d be with. I told them finally, March of this year, that I am indeed gay. They embraced me with open arms, and told me that they’d love me no matter what.
The immense weight that has lifted off my shoulders is indescribable. With certainty, I can say that my life can finally start. You were right, Joel, it does get better.
Please continue your campaign to increase awareness about bullying and its prevention.
Thoughts, Opinions?
I think you should always be cautious, even today, of who you tell your sexuality to. I've only told my mother, but I haven't told my brother or father yet. Even though I know they'll accept me, I still can't shake that creeping fear that they'll look at me differently in male light. It's odd because I'm usually not the type to mind what people think of me, but with family it's different.
I will tell them when I get over myself though.
On another note, the whole "It Gets Better" thing started after Rutger's Tyler Clementi kill himself but reading through the news article, gay blogs, and his forum posts the whole thing didn't add up to me that he killed himself because of bullying for being gay. He killed himself because of shame. Crippling shame.
My problem with the "It Gets Better" campaign is that it's just an empty feel-good slogan. How does it get better? I saw the video with Joel Burn and I was surprised to see him imply running away. As much as we can try, we can't run away from problems. We can try with drugs, sex, excessive video gaming, escapism, avoidance, self-segregation, etc... but nothing changes. We got to accept ourselves entirely but respect ourselves, love ourselves, and not fear being chastised by people who do not understand.
May you be blessed with a loving Partner.