over the past 8 or so years my life has had more downs then ups and until i was open to myself i never thought i would have made it to where i am now, never thought i would ever be able to have this many friends, or even have the ability to be myself. yeah this is me and how i got here is basically a little hint into my emotionless insanity trip to my current personality. i was always hiding who i was from an early age for i was told i would amount to anything then. after that my life started to fall apart i never thought i would be able to put it back together and then i seen my first fursuit and i wanted to be just like that person in the way suiting. after that i slow became to realize who i wanted to be and i started to get into my life in a way i was enjoying until high school this is when my life fell apart a second time. 3 months into my freshmen year of high school was the beginning of no better way of saying this but the death parade which one after another ppl that were ether family or close friends to the family started to drop one by one in a short period of time. after 4 months i went to 8 funerals and on the 8th i witnessed my first death of someone and at 14 it just throw my life into a spiral of confusion i had no idea how to deal with it. i went into a depression which my parents made worse with their way of thinking about my life(everything i do will fail and i will never get anywhere in life because im nothing like my brother way of thinking). so after 2 years of this my stress got to a point to where my life was at danger and i had my heart stop for the first time(yes it just stopped not a heart attack) and crashed almost hitting a cement slab, 3 trees, a fence , and almost flipped and rolled the car. when my father got to the scene first thing he asked me was "is the car ok" and never asked if anything was wrong with me and then made me drive the broken car home right as he got there. after highschool i worked my ass off working fulltime at mcdanalds and going to college full time which gave me little time for much of anything between studying and working. i went through a year of threats to become homeless for taking tests and working on school work instead of doing house work. i ended up giving up on college and tried for a better job which failed mostly until recently. i ended up working 3 jobs untill i got over whelmed and had to quite one which made my life a little worse by me being around ppl who think im a good for nothing. i went through 2 other jobs(total of 5) until i got my current one which after 3 months of working there i get no free time but in the end it pays off. i recent got into a fight with my parents and after 30 min i won and it came with a prize they got so mad they ended up throwing an offer of a house at me and i took it(its the house i grew up in) which i am soo happy about but im not sure if i will be getting a roommate or not but as of right now i get to fix it up and pay 300 a month for house payments. so as a summery my life went from unsure of what i am capable of to dark after that was death followed by working every second i could to make money to get myself some respect and ended by slightly insane with a 90% chance of being crazy and a dab of extreme geek. (i shouldnt be writing at 2 in the morning when im tired and bored when noone is on to talk to)(im also to lazy to fixed the spelling errors and to make it more proper in the writing department).