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me and shad0w0lf love story. edited
18 years ago
promises and wishes should not be broken since it them that allow us to dream of better tormorrow and see the light of hope once more. so never make a promise to anyone you can't keep, or wish for something impossiable it will only hurt to no end if you do, trust me on this.
The love story of me and shad0w0lf
One day when I logged into my furaffinity account, I saw my user page and my new messages like I always do since I feel like a lot happens in a day and in most cases that true. So I saw this guy called shad0w0lf shouted my user page twice, one about how we have few similar interests and how we can get along great. The second was how there is glitch in Hack G.U. that I should try in volume one in Mac anu.
Like I usually am, I was very suspicious of this guy out of the blue saying stuff like these had had to investigate it. So I private messaged him asking a few questions about him, how did he find me and does he want to be friends since am pretty lonely on the FA and wanted friends to talk too. So he accepted my hand in friendship and we were friends, we talked for 4 hours that night and I asked him how did he find me? He said I found you by see the picture http://www.furaffinity.net/view/752875 , it was picture I did of Kite from the original dot. Hack video game series in wolf form, since I like to draw video game characters furry and this was perfect to do. So after we talked about very personal stuff about us and we really opened to each other, I asked if he was my twin. Since I feel like your me, just a different person living else where in the world. After that he said if you are truly my twin than do you play runescape? I personally don’t play online games and just use the internet to talk to friends so I said no. Than I felt really upset that he might reject me as a friend if I did not have account, so I said, please don’t let us not be friends over that and I will try to make a account right now. So he gives me the link and I was ready to begin runescape. But I was such a newbie as people call it and was stuck in a room that was full of tutorials and could not leave to start the adventure. So he asked for my profile info and helped me out of the room.
He and I had some fun on runescape and I felt so happy to spend time with him, since I felt like he was such fun friend rather than my boring real life friends, I always wished for. Than my lousy selfish little brother got home from radio shack and wanted to use the computer since we share the damn computer. Than I told him the story about that and I had to go. The whole night I lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling a lot and wondered if I ever see him again and I felt such pain and sorrow if I could not see him again. Than the day after I logged back on to furaffinity and spoke him and told him about my problems with losing the computer since I have share it and I hope I did not make him mad.
So we talked again about fetishes I think and about Hack G.U. although it was hard for me since I only beat volume one and still have yet to play volume two and three. So afterwards we stay in touch from time to time and he responded to my art pictures and comment on my journals, which at the time reveled heavily my personal life and past. What he said in them really made me happy since it showed me he cared for me and understood my pain. I always replied back to him and learned so much about him and felt strong feelings for him that bordered on more than friendship. Than I was stuck with a nasty depression again, because my art was failing to reach the high standards of others and as artist I was pretty much a failed artist compared to others I watched. So I kind of drifted back and forth to people profiles looking at what they were doing and get my mind off kill myself out of pity.
Than I saw a gay meme journal he had and I commented since I thought he copied and paste it from me since I give him a private message allowing him to take memes from me. I basically told him I was glad he did it and I said at least I give you something before I kill myself. He told me don’t kill yourself since we get along great and really know each other and feels like we can have a relationship together, after had a few years to himself. Than am like yeah it would be nice to have you, but am loser as a human being and nobody would want me, so I choose my own death. Than he said he would devote his life to sorcery and bring me back from the dead and kill me, himself.
Than I said am already dead as a person, why bother? Than he said he would give me a reason to live and he laughed and said he was a slutty puppy. Than I said sorry am not a virgin, so am not sure you would have me. He said you ever heard of tight virgin ass? He said he has a lot of stamina and he is good for five rounds and that we have fun. I said even sex is not going to change my mind on choosing my death. So than I posted a lot of death journals, explaining why I am choosing death over life. Than he put as comments, please don’t die since I like you a lot and prefer you don’t die, when we know so much about each other. Than about that even a loser can find glory among failures if he believes and tries to searches for them.
That the path I am choosing is wrong and he would to stop me from thinking it. He also said as my twin you would be killing me as well, so please stop it. He also said if my life is lie than I should try to make it a reality and I will find a reason to live if look hard enough. He talked and talked to me and commented up and down my journals, I give up on the idea and he convinced me to live.
But I was still delusional about the whole ordeal and I really started actually love him after that since out everybody in my life he truly cared for me.
So after that I posted a journal about my thanks to all my friends that cared enough to stop me from killing myself. I give special thanks to shad0w0lf and even said in the end of my thanks to him that I can go as far as saying I love him. Than he got mad at about spelling his name wrong since I guess there is somebody called shadowolf on the FA other than him. So than my friend named tail on the FA saw this change in me and had to question shad0w0lf if he loved me. Tail found out shad0w0lf loved me and would like to be together.
He ran back and told me and I was pissed off that he invaded my piracy and went to him and asked. But I was curious and asked him what he learned. So I was shocked and surprised since I felt the same way about him. So that night I wrote up my story about how I joined the FA and how I meet shad0w0lf and how I in truth I love him and I want to be his forever. So after that night I went to visit my college the next day to try and get admitted in to try and have a successful future.
Than when I got home I told my story about my journey to the college and all ands at the end put my next journals would be my true feelings for shad0w0lf and the trouble I had getting the Nintendo wii. So basically I was already saying I loved him without making sound direct. Since I like to explain myself and don’t make easy really at all. I private messaged him about that he should read the journal since my true feeling for him will be revealed at last. He said he would check it out and I was happy.
I had to wait to spring the journal up since it was during the time before my secret was out and I did not need my family knowing about it, since it my business and my life. Beside family don’t like their kids if they find out their gay and reject them. So I finally posted it up based on how I wrote it with minor changes at the last minute. He read it and expressed his feelings and told me that he loves me and he wants to have me. I was so happy and I cried for while about it. He said after he would finish college he would meet up with me and we would be together. So than I was hooked and I planned exactly how it could happened and everything.
There was later problems with doubt, since he was the only one I ever truly loved and I questioned his love for me. After all my question and my friend tail question him up and down since he was concerned too and I was going to hurt him for getting involved again, I found out what he discovered. All my life I never believed in love at all and thought of it as a useless emotion and it can only hold me back from trying to make my failure of life into a successful one.
Plus nobody before give a shit about me so I was skeptical and thought maybe he was just saying all that to use me or something more evil than that. But he expressed his myself and told me and tail that is not the case and he truly loves me. So I was sighed a big sigh of relief and was glad these was not a dream that was not going too happened at all. Since I have been hurt before by people who acted like they care and totally betrayed me, not in love relationships by in friendships I had in the past, so I lost my trust in people. He rekindled that trust in me and I made lot more friends that way.
I figure after the two years, he would visit me in New York and I would met him and run into his arms since really want him and tell him in person I love him. I for the most part I actually set up that day we would first meet and I have the plans right in my head. Even though I rarely can get in contact with him since furaffinity has it site problems and he not there as much as me, he always comes around to give him views and ideas to me. He is all I ever wanted out of life over my success as a person and being somebody.
So I work as hard as I can in college to prove myself and make sure we can both support each other. The path to have him is the hardest thing I ever having in my life, but out all the paths in my life this one is the most rewarding to me to finish. So with my entire story said. I end with this line. Shad0w0lf I love you more than you could ever think and I truly want you in my life and I want us to be happy together. You’re true love. Darren J. Gonzalez.
One day when I logged into my furaffinity account, I saw my user page and my new messages like I always do since I feel like a lot happens in a day and in most cases that true. So I saw this guy called shad0w0lf shouted my user page twice, one about how we have few similar interests and how we can get along great. The second was how there is glitch in Hack G.U. that I should try in volume one in Mac anu.
Like I usually am, I was very suspicious of this guy out of the blue saying stuff like these had had to investigate it. So I private messaged him asking a few questions about him, how did he find me and does he want to be friends since am pretty lonely on the FA and wanted friends to talk too. So he accepted my hand in friendship and we were friends, we talked for 4 hours that night and I asked him how did he find me? He said I found you by see the picture http://www.furaffinity.net/view/752875 , it was picture I did of Kite from the original dot. Hack video game series in wolf form, since I like to draw video game characters furry and this was perfect to do. So after we talked about very personal stuff about us and we really opened to each other, I asked if he was my twin. Since I feel like your me, just a different person living else where in the world. After that he said if you are truly my twin than do you play runescape? I personally don’t play online games and just use the internet to talk to friends so I said no. Than I felt really upset that he might reject me as a friend if I did not have account, so I said, please don’t let us not be friends over that and I will try to make a account right now. So he gives me the link and I was ready to begin runescape. But I was such a newbie as people call it and was stuck in a room that was full of tutorials and could not leave to start the adventure. So he asked for my profile info and helped me out of the room.
He and I had some fun on runescape and I felt so happy to spend time with him, since I felt like he was such fun friend rather than my boring real life friends, I always wished for. Than my lousy selfish little brother got home from radio shack and wanted to use the computer since we share the damn computer. Than I told him the story about that and I had to go. The whole night I lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling a lot and wondered if I ever see him again and I felt such pain and sorrow if I could not see him again. Than the day after I logged back on to furaffinity and spoke him and told him about my problems with losing the computer since I have share it and I hope I did not make him mad.
So we talked again about fetishes I think and about Hack G.U. although it was hard for me since I only beat volume one and still have yet to play volume two and three. So afterwards we stay in touch from time to time and he responded to my art pictures and comment on my journals, which at the time reveled heavily my personal life and past. What he said in them really made me happy since it showed me he cared for me and understood my pain. I always replied back to him and learned so much about him and felt strong feelings for him that bordered on more than friendship. Than I was stuck with a nasty depression again, because my art was failing to reach the high standards of others and as artist I was pretty much a failed artist compared to others I watched. So I kind of drifted back and forth to people profiles looking at what they were doing and get my mind off kill myself out of pity.
Than I saw a gay meme journal he had and I commented since I thought he copied and paste it from me since I give him a private message allowing him to take memes from me. I basically told him I was glad he did it and I said at least I give you something before I kill myself. He told me don’t kill yourself since we get along great and really know each other and feels like we can have a relationship together, after had a few years to himself. Than am like yeah it would be nice to have you, but am loser as a human being and nobody would want me, so I choose my own death. Than he said he would devote his life to sorcery and bring me back from the dead and kill me, himself.
Than I said am already dead as a person, why bother? Than he said he would give me a reason to live and he laughed and said he was a slutty puppy. Than I said sorry am not a virgin, so am not sure you would have me. He said you ever heard of tight virgin ass? He said he has a lot of stamina and he is good for five rounds and that we have fun. I said even sex is not going to change my mind on choosing my death. So than I posted a lot of death journals, explaining why I am choosing death over life. Than he put as comments, please don’t die since I like you a lot and prefer you don’t die, when we know so much about each other. Than about that even a loser can find glory among failures if he believes and tries to searches for them.
That the path I am choosing is wrong and he would to stop me from thinking it. He also said as my twin you would be killing me as well, so please stop it. He also said if my life is lie than I should try to make it a reality and I will find a reason to live if look hard enough. He talked and talked to me and commented up and down my journals, I give up on the idea and he convinced me to live.
But I was still delusional about the whole ordeal and I really started actually love him after that since out everybody in my life he truly cared for me.
So after that I posted a journal about my thanks to all my friends that cared enough to stop me from killing myself. I give special thanks to shad0w0lf and even said in the end of my thanks to him that I can go as far as saying I love him. Than he got mad at about spelling his name wrong since I guess there is somebody called shadowolf on the FA other than him. So than my friend named tail on the FA saw this change in me and had to question shad0w0lf if he loved me. Tail found out shad0w0lf loved me and would like to be together.
He ran back and told me and I was pissed off that he invaded my piracy and went to him and asked. But I was curious and asked him what he learned. So I was shocked and surprised since I felt the same way about him. So that night I wrote up my story about how I joined the FA and how I meet shad0w0lf and how I in truth I love him and I want to be his forever. So after that night I went to visit my college the next day to try and get admitted in to try and have a successful future.
Than when I got home I told my story about my journey to the college and all ands at the end put my next journals would be my true feelings for shad0w0lf and the trouble I had getting the Nintendo wii. So basically I was already saying I loved him without making sound direct. Since I like to explain myself and don’t make easy really at all. I private messaged him about that he should read the journal since my true feeling for him will be revealed at last. He said he would check it out and I was happy.
I had to wait to spring the journal up since it was during the time before my secret was out and I did not need my family knowing about it, since it my business and my life. Beside family don’t like their kids if they find out their gay and reject them. So I finally posted it up based on how I wrote it with minor changes at the last minute. He read it and expressed his feelings and told me that he loves me and he wants to have me. I was so happy and I cried for while about it. He said after he would finish college he would meet up with me and we would be together. So than I was hooked and I planned exactly how it could happened and everything.
There was later problems with doubt, since he was the only one I ever truly loved and I questioned his love for me. After all my question and my friend tail question him up and down since he was concerned too and I was going to hurt him for getting involved again, I found out what he discovered. All my life I never believed in love at all and thought of it as a useless emotion and it can only hold me back from trying to make my failure of life into a successful one.
Plus nobody before give a shit about me so I was skeptical and thought maybe he was just saying all that to use me or something more evil than that. But he expressed his myself and told me and tail that is not the case and he truly loves me. So I was sighed a big sigh of relief and was glad these was not a dream that was not going too happened at all. Since I have been hurt before by people who acted like they care and totally betrayed me, not in love relationships by in friendships I had in the past, so I lost my trust in people. He rekindled that trust in me and I made lot more friends that way.
I figure after the two years, he would visit me in New York and I would met him and run into his arms since really want him and tell him in person I love him. I for the most part I actually set up that day we would first meet and I have the plans right in my head. Even though I rarely can get in contact with him since furaffinity has it site problems and he not there as much as me, he always comes around to give him views and ideas to me. He is all I ever wanted out of life over my success as a person and being somebody.
So I work as hard as I can in college to prove myself and make sure we can both support each other. The path to have him is the hardest thing I ever having in my life, but out all the paths in my life this one is the most rewarding to me to finish. So with my entire story said. I end with this line. Shad0w0lf I love you more than you could ever think and I truly want you in my life and I want us to be happy together. You’re true love. Darren J. Gonzalez.
formyyaoi
hasani
furrygami
Kineki
nemmie
Steel-Froggy
Itaru
things like that make me wonder what would have happened if that one-in-a-million chance hadnt happened and i hadnt commented on the picture.... if i hadnt met you... when you think about it, its like the only way it could have happened that we met is destiny... its destiny that the .hack game series is my fave... and that you just happened to draw kite.... we are destined to be together, and i wouldnt have it any other way, my love.