I'm not handling everything very well. I keep trying to get help from only two people and it keeps ripping them up.
I keep falling apart. I keep calling for help and i am really lost. I keep having nightmares. All I want to do is be strong for the one i love but the one i love doesn't want me to be strong for her.
Its hard to stand alone and i was dropped so heavily. It was my fault. She said there is no blame in it but its my fault.

I dont care if it takes years. I want to heal and i want to be back with her. its my only motivation on healing.
I always have a hard time getting friends and i saw it coming. Cause no one lasts longer than a few years before they fade off. When did i think that i could actually have a relationship...

I want to be left alone, but im afraid to.
I'm tired of crying. I dont want to anymore, but im tired of being alone... i keep pushing her away...


I want to do more commissions again. Maybe if i work hard again i'll feel better. I need help...
I need help on everything. my body feels numb so im going to go sleep for a while.


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I'll pick the winner of the free commission soon... just give me a bit more time. I need to get all the names together.