that you're being taken for a ride? And you think it's that ride to Disney world you've been waiting for but it ends up that you're driving out to the middle of nowhere with a shovel...

Kinda how I feel right now. And no it has nothing to do with my friends' recent journals, so don't worry; but I cant shake the feeling that the with job I'm doing, I've been strung along to believe that I can do it when everyone knows i can't. I'm getting all this encouragement to go into the world and do good things when everyone knows I'm going to fail. I have this feeling...yet, I still get up every morning to follow these orders, to take the encouragement, to hang out with people who don't give a damn what I have to say and just want me to listen to their problems (again, no relevance to anyone connected to FA. Kiri and GT, that means you.) all because I'm hoping that some day I can fulfill those expectations...when I know I'm lying to myself about that too...

All I can say is I'm trying my best and hoping its good enough, knowing full well that its not. I dunno. I just parted with a friend of mine because he was unwilling to let vent to him...his decision btw, which leaves me in the position I was in just the other night in my emo rant journal...

I need help...like...professional help, or something.