This 1980's cartoon should illustrate my point.

If there is any motto I've found useful while being online, it would be "Assume the Best."

If I had a dollar for every time I stressed myself stupid for thinking that someone hated me or was angry at me, just because they didn't reply or I twisted their words into the meanest possible comment, I'd be able to afford out of state tuition.

Assuming the best is probably THE best way to get around the internet. As it is, the internet is one of the most high-context places on earth. Those of you unfamiliar with the term, it means that there is a lot said that actually isn't said. Let's look at a scenario:

John Jingleheimer is having a friendly chat with Nick Nichols using an instant messenger. John, caught up in the atmosphere makes a statement that is humorous, but could easily be misconstrued as offensive. Suddenly, Nick stops responding. After three solid minutes of silence, John prods Nick for a response, but instead gets the message that Nick has signed off. A week passes, and Nick does not sign on again.

Now, the common idea here for the high-context of the internet is to assume that Nick has been and still is royally pissed at John. In reality, Nick's mom caught him chatting online when he still had a five-page report due the next day that he hadn't even started, and was subsequently grounded for said week. Upon finally being free of said punishment, he logs on to find his friend acting in one of many ways, ranging anywhere from apologetic, to afraid, to indignant, and maybe even angry.

Now let's make a worst case scenario worse. Nick logs on and John gets out three lines of his rant/apology/indimidated hello, and without a word, Nick logs off again. Turns out mom absolutely had to have Nick along to take care of some things, and by the time he gets home, he has to go to bed. At this point the lack of communication has left John feeling like the friendship between the two of them is shot, because all he's seen is a logged-off username, and blatant disregard to what he says.

If this trend of miscommunication continues, it may result in the termination of friendship between the two, for what may very well be no reason at all.

Similarly, Nick could have very well read John's potentially offensive statement, and of course gotten offended. It's easy to twist words around that someone says and make them into the worst possible thing, but not many people online really want to offend their friends.

Assuming the best includes realizing the person you're dealing with has a life outside of the internet, and outside of you. Understand that when they say they're busy, they more than likely are VERY busy, and are still trying to find time to talk to you. Also, keep in mind that in a lot of situations you aren't this person's #1 best friend or person they're trying to get in contact with. At times, I myself will focus less on my best friends in instant messanging in order to get a certain important matter discussed.

Lastly, assuming the best can do wonders for friends that aren't actually as fantastic as you're assuming them to be. Letting them know that you respect their time or that you see the best in them, may very well help them to become better people. Certainly giving them a feeling that you're demanding their time or getting upset when they didn't mean to make you won't help the relationship, so why waste the energy?

Of course, that's just what I think.

Disclaimer: If anyone thinks I'm referring to them in this, I promise I'm not.