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When?
14 years ago
When? When am I gonna catch a break? Eh? I'm homeless again, stuck in Mesa AZ because I thought I would have work and a home. I was brought out here on promises not kept and have no way out. The person who brought me here has since abandoned me, and the only joy I get are the hours when the damn library's open.
I know what some of you are gonna say. Gotta make your own breaks. Life's not gonna give you a chance, you gotta get your own. Well, taking a chance is what got me here. So fuck you. I've been pretty much fucked over by life ever since 16 years when my mom left my dad, leaving me to take care of his fat, uncaring ass. Not that he didn't care for me or my sis. He just didn't care about himself. The man was... well, lets just say they had to do some really funky shifting to get him out of the bedroom when he was found dead.
From there, i took a chance (before he died) and moved to Washington to be with a girl. Was with her for 4 years. Had only odd jobs and under-the-counter stuff mostly, only two official jobs. Me n her mom fought hard. Her mom was stuck in the '60s. Moved to New Mex with them, and a year after was dumped for a coworker.
Went back to L.A. and stayed with my mom and her hubby (dad dead two years now) for a few months till they almost kicked me out. Couldn't find stable work. I got fired from Walmart because I had to commute a long distance from my home store to the one they wanted me to work at. Then i worked for Sears, making home improvement appointments, till they let me go due to budget cuts. Then I was with Ralphs till I had a disagreement about my schedule. One week they didn't have me listed at all. When I called to ask why (on my birthday I might add), they said, "Oh well... We feel you're just not working out." Happy birthday, you're fired.
The begining of 2009 promised big things. I was going to Tulsa, OK to attend a college, at a friend's insistance (who blames herself for everything that's happened since). I'm not gonna say that was the WORST place I've ever been, but it ranks highly. I couldn't find ANY kind of work that didn't involve me having or needing my own car, be it for the job or to get to it. I resorted to stealing from Walmart to survive, which worked for most of the time there till they caught me. Was the same day I heard my grandma died of Alzheimer's. so yeah, I was a bit distraught, and made a mistake.
From there I walked (YES WALKED MOTHERFUCKERS) to Las Vegas, where I stayed six months with my best friend of then 10 years. No jobs, one interview and that's it. I don't blame him for kicking me out. I stayed another 6 months there, 3 of those out of a Salvation Army post where I was trained in culinary arts. Cut to just over a month ago.
Another friend whom I won't name (she's a fur and on FA) tells me you should come here. There's work and I have a place for you. I got the money, took the chance and came here. The first two weeks were ok. We were good together. No work, and no place to live permanently, we bounced from friend to friend's house. Sometimes her mom would kick for a Hotel room, my own mom sent $300 for that, which we got about 5 days out of in a good hotel.
Now when I got here, I knew she had mental problems, but she'd never told me how serious they were. On top of that it was going to be an open relationship, which I was good with so long as I OK'd the people she was with. I think THAT was our major breaking point. I veto'd one guy and you'd have thought I murdered her puppy. I'll not go into details, but things got progressively worse.
Last week she went to phoenix without telling ANYONE. I haven't seen her since. Last I heard she's in Chandler, which is just south of Mesa. She'd made it clear she didn't want to be with me anymore (because I'm rational I think), but that doesn't mean she can just abandon me like that does it? Well, I'm pretty much done with her.
As of the current moment, I have a friend in Kentucky who's working to get me out to be with him. Ironically, the Mesa girl was the one who introduced us. Now, i have no idea why this guy wants me. He's never met me, he barely knows me, and he's putting himself way out if he does come thru.
I don't like sitting tight, especially if I'm in a bad situation like I am. It's unnerving. At least I have someplace I can go every morning to get breakfast, but that only consists of cereal and milk, and some doughnuts, occasionally they have oversalted ham, but I stear clear of that, as it gave me a bad stomach ache last time I ate it.
Now, who says I'm just a whiner? Anyone? Anyone? I'll gladly trade places with you and see how much you have to say about it.
I know what some of you are gonna say. Gotta make your own breaks. Life's not gonna give you a chance, you gotta get your own. Well, taking a chance is what got me here. So fuck you. I've been pretty much fucked over by life ever since 16 years when my mom left my dad, leaving me to take care of his fat, uncaring ass. Not that he didn't care for me or my sis. He just didn't care about himself. The man was... well, lets just say they had to do some really funky shifting to get him out of the bedroom when he was found dead.
From there, i took a chance (before he died) and moved to Washington to be with a girl. Was with her for 4 years. Had only odd jobs and under-the-counter stuff mostly, only two official jobs. Me n her mom fought hard. Her mom was stuck in the '60s. Moved to New Mex with them, and a year after was dumped for a coworker.
Went back to L.A. and stayed with my mom and her hubby (dad dead two years now) for a few months till they almost kicked me out. Couldn't find stable work. I got fired from Walmart because I had to commute a long distance from my home store to the one they wanted me to work at. Then i worked for Sears, making home improvement appointments, till they let me go due to budget cuts. Then I was with Ralphs till I had a disagreement about my schedule. One week they didn't have me listed at all. When I called to ask why (on my birthday I might add), they said, "Oh well... We feel you're just not working out." Happy birthday, you're fired.
The begining of 2009 promised big things. I was going to Tulsa, OK to attend a college, at a friend's insistance (who blames herself for everything that's happened since). I'm not gonna say that was the WORST place I've ever been, but it ranks highly. I couldn't find ANY kind of work that didn't involve me having or needing my own car, be it for the job or to get to it. I resorted to stealing from Walmart to survive, which worked for most of the time there till they caught me. Was the same day I heard my grandma died of Alzheimer's. so yeah, I was a bit distraught, and made a mistake.
From there I walked (YES WALKED MOTHERFUCKERS) to Las Vegas, where I stayed six months with my best friend of then 10 years. No jobs, one interview and that's it. I don't blame him for kicking me out. I stayed another 6 months there, 3 of those out of a Salvation Army post where I was trained in culinary arts. Cut to just over a month ago.
Another friend whom I won't name (she's a fur and on FA) tells me you should come here. There's work and I have a place for you. I got the money, took the chance and came here. The first two weeks were ok. We were good together. No work, and no place to live permanently, we bounced from friend to friend's house. Sometimes her mom would kick for a Hotel room, my own mom sent $300 for that, which we got about 5 days out of in a good hotel.
Now when I got here, I knew she had mental problems, but she'd never told me how serious they were. On top of that it was going to be an open relationship, which I was good with so long as I OK'd the people she was with. I think THAT was our major breaking point. I veto'd one guy and you'd have thought I murdered her puppy. I'll not go into details, but things got progressively worse.
Last week she went to phoenix without telling ANYONE. I haven't seen her since. Last I heard she's in Chandler, which is just south of Mesa. She'd made it clear she didn't want to be with me anymore (because I'm rational I think), but that doesn't mean she can just abandon me like that does it? Well, I'm pretty much done with her.
As of the current moment, I have a friend in Kentucky who's working to get me out to be with him. Ironically, the Mesa girl was the one who introduced us. Now, i have no idea why this guy wants me. He's never met me, he barely knows me, and he's putting himself way out if he does come thru.
I don't like sitting tight, especially if I'm in a bad situation like I am. It's unnerving. At least I have someplace I can go every morning to get breakfast, but that only consists of cereal and milk, and some doughnuts, occasionally they have oversalted ham, but I stear clear of that, as it gave me a bad stomach ache last time I ate it.
Now, who says I'm just a whiner? Anyone? Anyone? I'll gladly trade places with you and see how much you have to say about it.
I hope things work out for you