Like you lost yourself and you can't really find that you were?

I'm feeling that way as every month goes by, i've recovered from multiple hits to my heart, and tried my best not to let myself get hurt but...i still feel numb due to everything's that's happened the past two months.

but doesn't help that technically they don't know what's wrong with me but they assume and just throw some drugs on me...Its hard to keep food in my system time to time, i wish i could eat like i used to, tired of really eating mostly soup....I'm tired of feeling nausea, i'm tired of my pains...

Guess doesn't help that though i know i have multiple people that love me....i still feel alone...


I blame this all ON MY F--KING MEDICATION...I wanna be better again...