I had  crazy2287 over this weekend ^^ we went to a kind of 'fur meet' dinner with alot of peeps from around Canberra.

I had alot of fun this weekend, but I feel like there is something I've either forgotten to do or there is somewhere important I need to be... cant think of what this could be.. but it is really frustrating me!! >.> I know I want to get some commission/trades done that I've been meaning to do...there is a game I want to play but I cant cause it hates my keyboard (frets on fire) I even look around and there is house work kinda stuff that needs to be done aswell. But even if i did all this I feel I'm still missing something... I've felt like this since just before crazy left to go home... maybe i know i'll be missing him? *shrugs*... thinkin that...I need to decide what I'm doing in the next year or so...

I got a few options...
- Stay here and work where I am.
- Get back into study and do fine arts or a pre- spray painting course and airbrushing.
- Attempt to find work back home.

I tend to move around alot, usually at least once every year... and i still havent chosen a "career path" I want to do airbrushing for cars or signage... but i need to learn to first... and its prolly not for me.. I have a degree in graphic design, but i dont think i can keep up with that sorta thing just yet... plus its hard to find a job in that area. I work in retail atm, but its definitely not something i want to be doing much longer other wise i will prolly be stuck working in it..*sigh*

Then there is the point that I want to go back home cause crazy is there...it was awesome when i lived with him before! It'll be hard if i cant find a decent paying job. And he is staying on base, I wouldnt be able to live with him... and he'll be busy all the time I wouldnt be able to really see him until weekends anyways. I'm going to try see him on weekends currently...if i can afford it that is.... i think my brain wants to implode O.O

.....-.-

besides all that crap... yesterday i saw my next door neighbor for the first time since i've lived here. He told me to stop driving up his driveway to get on to our lawn.... later that night the bastard put rocks on our lawn to stop us from driving up his driveway to get on it.... fuckin piss off.... its technically government property im driving on not HIS....it aint going to stop me from driving on our lawn to park.... it just annoying me that he is a LAWN NAZI...Grr...

annd this week will be kinda busy... monday work and my mum stays over, tuesday going to the coast for my sister's formal, wednesday work and guesting on TUSpod cast, Thursday work and COG concert, Friday work and (yet to decide if I'm heading home for the weekend or not)... if not then saturday is yvonnes 21st and sunday is a BBQ... if i do, then prolly going out and hanging with crazy and friends.

Man, life just is so difficult when you dont know what to do or what you should be doing... and i hate thinking like this aswell... it pokes around my mind every now n then .. usually try to shrug it off and go with the flow, but as it gets closer to the end of the year, the harder decisions become... as study things need to be applied for and stuff before the end of the year.. other wise it comes next year and u gotta wait either 6months or another year for opportunities to study come again.
As for finding other jobs.. this time of year most of the jobs are just part time over xmas only.... and once xmas is gone no one wants anyone!

blah.. i'm going to go do my weekly task... then try forget all this and comeback fresh with a journal on better stuff in the next few days...

sorry bout this journal, helps me a little to type it all out, and doesnt mean a thing to anyone else.... but thoughts and suggestions are welcome! XD