Warning warning. Ranty rant police. You are being warned!


If you don't know me, REALLY well, then don't look! Also apologies if you watch me for my 'fun' normal art stuff!!



Ya know what, fuck pleasin' people, being humble and being kicked around like an old can. Breaking who I am to the point of me not knowing who I am anymore. The deceit, the crap, the bending over backwards and grasping my own ankles with my eyeballs bullshit that I normally do to 'make people smile' only to have them turn their back on me in the end.



I have to figure out the differences between my loves and to live. Straining the point where I see nothing but my loves (gaming, friends, a relationship, etc.). I don't have time for that right now. My loves are straining my life. And I have to live in order to find some stability for my loves. So I'll have to find a good balance.



As a friend told me, my friends, loves, etc. are nothing more than a pillar to a foundation. My foundation has deteriorated to the point where people who have known me don't know what I am anymore, or see nothing but the lies, which aren't really lies... but, bleh it's complicated. Nonetheless, it was a like a very delicate mirror. A long time ago, I shone, bright, and true. However, was very delicate. I was prideful, easily irritated, disheartened and weak. I would shatter quickly, however, as of right now, I am hell of a lot tougher, but the luster and 'truth' were marred and side-ways glance things, downplaying or overhyping things that back in the day, I just ... let it happen.



Balance. I have to find it, in myself, before I have to find someone else, to complete who I am in my journey down the line into the unknown. I'll find that someone that will complete me, or they'll find me. But I have to figure where I stand first. Maybe then people will no longer take what I say at face value, but take it at what it really was worth long ago.