I don't know you, and I don't know your situation...
Take this from a person that has been in an open Poly relationship going on 15 years now...

Find yourself and where your core wants to be. If your married and you love him/her and that is where your heart is, then take that step back and work on that. Talk with them. It sounds, and Im only guessing, that you are keeping this bottled up inside. Share, talk, communication. You can talk with your friends, lovers, or strangers and they might say something since they know you and say something else. Like I said, I don't know you so I don't know the relationship, but be true to yourself and what you committed yourself to. If there is no communication on how you feel to your mate then things will fall apart. If you want to share yourself, then that is something else to decide. If you want a open relationship, it goes back to communication with your partner. Is it something they will accept? What are the rules. Is your something that you can balance with your relationship. Being Poly, that is one of the first things I tell people. If your with someone, but there is room in your heart for others, then that is something that should be discussed. There isn't enough love in the world and if everyone is happy, open, and honest about it all, then it can be a great support structure and a wonderful experience. But I don't know you. So if none of this applies to you or doesn't help, I'm sorry. I just read your post and felt a twinge and had to say something. :)