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Assumptions and judgement
14 years ago
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel I have been thinking a lot about things lately. Mostly about the name of this journal. What I'm saying is completely hypothetical. I am not talking about anyone I know. I've dealt with things like this through high school, college, and even with online people. If you feel like I'm talking about you, truly, I am not.
Here's an example.
There's two group of friends. I'll call them A and B so it's simple. Group A and B don't really talk to each other but know about each other due to a common friend who I will name X. Haha, this is becoming a math problem, isn't it? Anyway, back on topic. X gets in a fight with Group A and X decides not to talk to Group A anymore. X starts talking to Group B more. Group B, being the friends they are, ask X what's wrong. X tells them (Either just the gist, all of it, or even twisting things. I'm trying to include all factors). Group B has no other choice but to assume that Group A are bad people when in reality, they no nothing about Group A and don't have the full story on why X refuses to talk to Group A. Of course, this works Vise versa.
What I'm getting at is when people talk to each other and only say things like "They always say mean things to me" or "they're so insensitive" and so on, it makes the other people assume that the other person is this cruel being that has no heart when in reality, that person that is being trashed has done so much for the other person and just made a mistake out of either anger, sorrow, or any other kind of emotion. We judge people on only what we know. By not knowing the bigger picture, we are doomed to make assumptions that can either make or break a potential relationship or otherwise.
I know assuming things about people is wrong. However, try to see it like this. Friends C and D are talking about E. C and E don't know each other. D is talking to C because D and E got into an argument. C gets mad at E and when the two see each other, trouble starts.
One can easily say if C got to know E, then things would be better. However, C felt like she/he had to protect D. C didn't know any better. C only knew what D told him/her.
i'm not condoning assuming things. I'm just saying that when we're given so little information about the people we are talking about, we have no other choice but to assume. Then, when we try to do the right thing and get to know the person, the assumptions made come to bite us in the ass. Everyone has a part to play. This is why knowing both sides of the story is so important. One can't hold it from either side just to see both sides clash or to get one side on your side and leave the other hanging.
People judge us on the choices we make. It could be the small things. People judge us by the way we dress. People judge us by what music we listen to. People judge us on our values. Most importantly, people judge us based on our religion. Just because we don't like what our friends like doesn't we're not friends. Just because we believe in different things doesn't mean one is right and one is wrong. Things have to be different in order for others to notice the similarities. Judging only becomes wrong when it becomes biased and/ore racist.
Well, I've rambled on enough. If you guys wanna talk about this, feel free. Just be nice about it, okay? I want to know people's opinions on assumption and judgement.
Here's an example.
There's two group of friends. I'll call them A and B so it's simple. Group A and B don't really talk to each other but know about each other due to a common friend who I will name X. Haha, this is becoming a math problem, isn't it? Anyway, back on topic. X gets in a fight with Group A and X decides not to talk to Group A anymore. X starts talking to Group B more. Group B, being the friends they are, ask X what's wrong. X tells them (Either just the gist, all of it, or even twisting things. I'm trying to include all factors). Group B has no other choice but to assume that Group A are bad people when in reality, they no nothing about Group A and don't have the full story on why X refuses to talk to Group A. Of course, this works Vise versa.
What I'm getting at is when people talk to each other and only say things like "They always say mean things to me" or "they're so insensitive" and so on, it makes the other people assume that the other person is this cruel being that has no heart when in reality, that person that is being trashed has done so much for the other person and just made a mistake out of either anger, sorrow, or any other kind of emotion. We judge people on only what we know. By not knowing the bigger picture, we are doomed to make assumptions that can either make or break a potential relationship or otherwise.
I know assuming things about people is wrong. However, try to see it like this. Friends C and D are talking about E. C and E don't know each other. D is talking to C because D and E got into an argument. C gets mad at E and when the two see each other, trouble starts.
One can easily say if C got to know E, then things would be better. However, C felt like she/he had to protect D. C didn't know any better. C only knew what D told him/her.
i'm not condoning assuming things. I'm just saying that when we're given so little information about the people we are talking about, we have no other choice but to assume. Then, when we try to do the right thing and get to know the person, the assumptions made come to bite us in the ass. Everyone has a part to play. This is why knowing both sides of the story is so important. One can't hold it from either side just to see both sides clash or to get one side on your side and leave the other hanging.
People judge us on the choices we make. It could be the small things. People judge us by the way we dress. People judge us by what music we listen to. People judge us on our values. Most importantly, people judge us based on our religion. Just because we don't like what our friends like doesn't we're not friends. Just because we believe in different things doesn't mean one is right and one is wrong. Things have to be different in order for others to notice the similarities. Judging only becomes wrong when it becomes biased and/ore racist.
Well, I've rambled on enough. If you guys wanna talk about this, feel free. Just be nice about it, okay? I want to know people's opinions on assumption and judgement.
