I really believe it's a combination of personality, environment, and possibly genetics. It doesn't change the fact that it isn't a choice. It's who I am, regardless of HOW I came to be such.

True enough, you both have very valid, yet different points. My mom's on the notion that there are many variables, she somehow made it sound like 'choice' was a matter in it though. I guess that's what got to me. Environment, upbringing, personality, genes, and so forth all could possibly play a role in orientation (depending on the person) But for the mass majority of homosexuals i know, having our orientation being called a 'choice' is usually up for no debate. For whatever reason, this is who we are, and it is most definably not, a choice.

I think it's both. For some people, they are born gay. For others, it's a choice. For those who I think choose it, I think they were raised openly enough, that they decided their own sexuality, cause even straight people have homosexual thoughts. It's curiosity. So to say that you are born gay, is an okay point. But there are also people that choose to follow their homosexual fantasies. Does that make them different from other gay people? No. Does that mean that people who choose it are below/above those who can't? No. I see it as something that has unlimited possibilities, especially since the world is becoming more accustomed to homosexuals.

My friend Kenny was born gay. He's been gay since elementary school. I'm cool with that.

My friend Felicia choose to be gay. She's been dating a guy and a girl at the same time for three years now. I'm cool with that.

To say all gay people are born gay is stupid. To say all gay people choose to be gay is stupid. What people fail to see is that the world is not just black and white, but there is gray as well, a middle ground.

So you may have been born gay. More power to you. But you shouldn't blow off your mother's opinion either. After all, she isn't you, so she can't understand how you can be "born gay", but she understands that some people choose it.

To be honest, I don't really think I was born bi. To me, it's a choice of who I love. If I love a girl, awesome. If I love a guy, awesome. I choose it, because I am comfortable in my sexuality to know that I like both genders.

I hope that helps, if only a little...

I suppose the possibilities are endless, though from my perspective, I never understood how people full on choose to be gay. A choice is merely free will, this or that. And usually, choices can be revoked, changed, lost, and left indecisive. With being homosexual, and without a doubt, no questions, no wonderment, no curiosity to be anything else, the notion runs deeper than it just being my choice to be that way. It's something I couldn't change, no matter what I tried. Most of the people I know who are bi (not saying this would apply to you) but, the majority slowly choose their side, or at least have a preferable side, they keep certain things in mind about dates, relationships, etc.


Bisexuals are comfortable enough to say they feel an attraction towards both sexes. Being full on gay, you don't exactly fantasize about the opposite sex. Through my experiences, I was bi-curious at a very young age, but nothing more than schoolyard crushes on girls. I never fathomed myself in that situation for life. Those thoughts could of merely been planted by my environment. Since I was so young my mom told me things like "When YOU get a girlfriend" Or "YOU need to treat your wife well" Or something along those lines. I was perceived to be just like any other born person, for the masses usually end up heterosexual.But as i matured, mentally and sexual, I discovered it wasn't what I was looking for at all. That leaves me to feel like it was there all along, coming of age where hormones go crazy and you start to think more seriously about love and lust, and relationships, I never once thought about being with a female, it didn't attract me, or stir my curiosity, for a reason. Choices can ever change, since the possibilities for things are endless. In my point of view though, I could never change being gay. And that's not my choice, but what's branded inside of me, it was who I was meant to be.


Of course i've seen insistence of people choosing their sexuality, but the initial idea had to be planted. Could we completely chalk it up to upbringing? It that were the case, i'd be straight, possibly bi. My mother was also very open with me about sexuality. She is still open, I just think she's a little confused, maybe she doesn't want to try and understand.I think, though, that genes do play a large part in determining something that has been with you since birth. Is everything a choice? People can be born straight, right? I don't know, it just seems to short to call it a choice, and to broad to call it genes. It's a topic shrouded in ideas and possibilities, and that's what makes it so hard to discuss, all these angles, different people, different views, and it's probably something that we'll try to fully understand for decades. I know I still think about it, and i'm set in who I am.