Idea from  fenrislupin

Warning; swearwords, lol.

I haven't written properly for ages so this will be shit. Also I had no idea Tuss was coming over, ok? xD

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"Oi... Oi... You idiot, wake up."


I groan, pulling my warm, purple cover up to my face and snuggling into it, before snoring once again.

"OI!"

I yelp as my back feels like it's just been knifed, jumping up from my warm slumber and staring down at the figure before me. The shimmer of the sun creeped through my burlap curtains, lighting my messy room, where stood... What seemed to be... Me?

I fall back onto my wall of drawings and paintings of dragons and snakes, gasping in the thick air that lingered around my room. A vulture, 5 foot 3 in height, with bright, dyed plumage, one wing and a spiked beak, stared back at me.

"I'm not that scary..." The vulture creaked, shrugging her painted shoulders and raising her wing in a proud manor.
"I... I..." I stuttered, rubbing my sleep-encrusted eyes to try and unsee what I thought couldn't be there.
"Yeah, I don't know how I bleddy got here either. I'm guessing you're Thea?"

I stutter some inaudible noises and nod slowly. "A...and you're Tuss?"

She gives a sharp nod and a slightly confused glance. "Why am I here?"

I shrug. I had no idea, I was enjoying my dreams of lands made of icecream and tentacle monsters, before being awoken by this intruder. "How did you get here? It's obvious I didn't move, I'm still in bed..." I stop, looking down at myself, embarrassed. "Oh god I'm naked..."

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"So... What have you got to eat in this hellhole..?" The vulture grimaces, looking through a bare fridge. She wraps her talons around the handle and slams it shut, looking back to me, who had now put on some clothes.

I shrug. "I usually eat rice and gravy..."

"Not started collecting dead things yet, then?"

"Nope, got nowhere to store things, 'ave I?"

Tuss laughed. "It's like everything I had planned for you is correct then." She raised a talon to the cupboard where the tins were kept, rummaging through them dis-contently. "All you have is veggie bullshit."

I laughed nervously at the first comment as I watched her pull out a can of mushroom soup and peck at the top of it, making a perfect hole which she proceeded to drink from. Her face turned from dis-contempt to disgust.

"This human food is bullshit." She shouted, throwing the tin at the sink that was behind her, then grabbing the door handle, for the door which lead out onto the large garden. She grimaced again, looking at the gray clouds and spluttering rain that has just seemed to have started. "I'm gonna go find me some proper food."

I blinked, watching her fly upwards and then in circles.

Stupid vultures can't fly with one wing...

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Bored of writing now, that'll do. XD