FA+
Shop
feeling a bit down, feeling a bit up
14 years ago
today I woke up in an odd mood. half sleeping throughout the night had me thinking about the positives and the negatives in my life.
I have a home, a bf, good friends, a caring family, and lots of spare time. but each thing has it's problems. the house s a bit of a mess, I don't get to spend much time with my bf, one of my good friends is going through emotional strain, the other is going to internal conflicts, my family doesn't approve of my life style, and I feel like I should be doing something with all the time I have.
I look and I see that everything in my life seems to have brought me here. every experience, every hurt, every complication, they way I think, the people I've known. how can I be upset at the people who have hurt me the most, when they were all factors in how I got here? on the other hand, how can I be happy at those that I love when they don't want to accept who I am?
my family doesn't know I'm a furry, and think I'm mistaken about being gay. but, they are willing to still care for me, no matter what happens. should I be upset? should I be happy? should I try to convince them that what they've believed all there life is wrong? should I cut the ties with them so I don't seek there approval? or should I leave things how they are?
part of me really wishes that everyone watching would respond. when I get a reply it makes me feel good. but then if I only get one or two replies, it feels worse then no replies. how do I take this? should I come up with a catchier name? should I keep the name relevant so that people don't read it if they have no interest in it? I know I tend to only read journals of people I know by name, and delete the ones I watch for just the pics. but I don't think my art is very good. so how many people watch me for my art?
may I ask how many people actually read these posts from me? I won't feel bad if it's not many. I just want to know. sometimes I feel alone in a world full of people. I'll probably have a few people that click this, and then leave after seeing how long it is. but yeah. just leave a quick message to let me know I'm not alone in the world.
~Gnik
I have a home, a bf, good friends, a caring family, and lots of spare time. but each thing has it's problems. the house s a bit of a mess, I don't get to spend much time with my bf, one of my good friends is going through emotional strain, the other is going to internal conflicts, my family doesn't approve of my life style, and I feel like I should be doing something with all the time I have.
I look and I see that everything in my life seems to have brought me here. every experience, every hurt, every complication, they way I think, the people I've known. how can I be upset at the people who have hurt me the most, when they were all factors in how I got here? on the other hand, how can I be happy at those that I love when they don't want to accept who I am?
my family doesn't know I'm a furry, and think I'm mistaken about being gay. but, they are willing to still care for me, no matter what happens. should I be upset? should I be happy? should I try to convince them that what they've believed all there life is wrong? should I cut the ties with them so I don't seek there approval? or should I leave things how they are?
part of me really wishes that everyone watching would respond. when I get a reply it makes me feel good. but then if I only get one or two replies, it feels worse then no replies. how do I take this? should I come up with a catchier name? should I keep the name relevant so that people don't read it if they have no interest in it? I know I tend to only read journals of people I know by name, and delete the ones I watch for just the pics. but I don't think my art is very good. so how many people watch me for my art?
may I ask how many people actually read these posts from me? I won't feel bad if it's not many. I just want to know. sometimes I feel alone in a world full of people. I'll probably have a few people that click this, and then leave after seeing how long it is. but yeah. just leave a quick message to let me know I'm not alone in the world.
~Gnik
bigtig
~bigtig
It's ok to reflect and assess what you've learned along the way. I wouldn't necessarily cut ties to those who still care for you but may not necessarily agree with what you're doing. They still respect you and treat you like a grown man. The thing to remember is that you are ultimately accountable for you, so live the way you want so long as you don't impose a danger to others.
