i just spent half a mother fucking hour writing up a jurnal, hit post and i get "internet explorer can not display this web page".... had to refresh the page.... mother fucking magic.... cleared it.....
mother. fucking. joy.


anyway!!!!!
..... yeah...... im crying my eyes out, stressed as fuck.... mother fucking computer isnt helping.....




yeah.........

i dont feel like retyping everything.... maybe later or another day......
the key points were something like....

im worried sick about connor....
im useless, worthless cant do anything.....
how i scrape by in life is.... rather pathetic... write, draw, blair music (not fag ass bob marley, but things like jack off jill, dog fashion disco, rammstein.... etc.... (mainly music that makes me happy. i cant stand happy music and shit, its like a spike to the brain.....)), and most importanly, i live in my own little world..... if im pissed, i can masacre who ever i want, go on killing sprees, and not go to jail for it...... i am immortal, a shapeshifter and.... basically combine hellsings alucard with alex mercer of prototype, and there you go.....

i wish connor would try to do the same...... hes my everything.....
my pride, my joy, my motivation, my strength.... my everything........



i wish i could help people, but i cant..... im useless..... i try my best, but its no where near good enough....





anyway.... nuked everything in my inbox....
hope you guys are doing as fan-fucking-tastic as i am!!! (i seriously hope all you guys have it way better than i do atm....)

love you all!

ttyl