Stupid title, not caring. Point is I'm about ready to blow. I've taken just about all that I can from my family. This is supposed to be a relaxing vacation that I'm on, well it had been up until today. Something I never want to do is go on a boat. Why? I'm a paranoid pessimist, you do the math. I'm always afraid that SOMEthing will happen, just like when I was little I'd always be afraid someone would break into my house in the middle of the night and kill everyone. And today they tried bugging me to go on. My grandmother was the only one who actually honored my decision and left me be after asking once. My mother and father are the biggest offenders. My dad's always saying that if I don't want to go somewhere I don't have to, and yet he gives me his famous "Regrets" speech where he tells me I'll regret not doing it. Well I won't, I never intended to come to Tennessee and go on a boat, I came to relax and hang out with family among other things. The only things in life that I actually regret was not starting Basketball or Drama club earlier in my life, that's it. My mom's fine with it now, but my dad got pissed when he called and found out I'm by myself. I'm 18 and can make my own f***ing decisions now. I may look like him, but I'm not him, that's something he's failing to realize. Some people like to be adventurous and try new things, I'm not like that, I enjoy sticking to the norm and do what I like. The biggest risk in life that I've taken was when I raced someone and ran across the street without looking at all, that's it. My main problem is communication. I'm a horrible talker, both in conversation and talking about my feelings/issues. I always think that you should avoid negative things to talk about, very 50's of me, but it's just how I am.

I'm sorry if this seems like me ranting or if my negative attitude is rubbing off on some, but I'm trying not to bottle things up anymore and right now I don't have anyone to talk to. If you bothered reading thank you, if not I don't blame you.