Maybe I'm being selfish. Really atbthis point I don't fucking care anymore. That being said let me say this.

I work 72+ hours a week. Yet when people need money, I loan it out no questions asked. When people are hungry and have no money, I buy food, no questions asked. When it's 2 in the morning and some one is in a hard way, I get up and get dressed and help them out, knowing I have to be up in four hours for work, no questions asked. I play chauffeur when people need rides, play doctor when they have a problem, and can't afford a doctor. Always lend an ear for their problems, open my home to any one who needed a place to stay. Use my contacts all over town risking the possibility of outing my self, to help people out when they can't get the info they need.

I've never asked for a handout, I've never asked for gas money, or some one to pay my way. I've never asked for any of the money I have spent back, I've never called in a loan, and I've never asked for any thing.

Now I'm in a fucked up situation. I'm having surgery on Monday, and facing the possibility of having cancer. The only thing I ask for is a little emotional support, and some one to sit with. I get nothing.

I was always told that good guys finish last, I'm ok with finishing last, as long as my "friends" are there to cheer me in as I cross the finish line. I never knew how really alone I was, until my own "friends" turned their back on me and left me
hanging.

Maybe I will just stop being the nice guy I am.

-yuki