As I write this, I am packing up what I can carry, and heading off on a journey. The truth is, I have been putting this off for a very long time. I have allowed the fear of failure to ruin my life, and that of others. I was supposed to be the one people could lean on, the one that had a place for others to stay when needed. But I have been shown otherwise. To those of you whom have stayed with me and my wife, I am sorry for not being as strong as you needed. I lied to myself, and I lied to you. The truth is, I never had the proper resources.
And I have become bitter. I have become even more angry at myself, and at others. I have lost who I truly am inside. I need to find myself. This isn't just about a job. This is me doing what I feel I need to do to fix my soul.