FA+
Shop
Debatable...
14 years ago
General
Some journals are personal, and some journals are business related for Kinzart. For everything else, I don't care.
I’m debating if I should try to get some work done even though I should be cleaning my room. In all honesty, the room doesn’t bloody pay my insurance bills or soon to be rent bill. The business itself is already at a major tipping point and needs all the help it can get. I work well in baby steps and that was the key to my latest creation, the All In One script (AIO). I hate how my parents (mostly my father) put my college and everything else ahead of my work. I don’t put my college work behind my job, but at the same time, it is my job; I cannot simply ignore it.
I guess I should write down a few reasons behind why I feel this way:
1. I cannot rely on my boss too well
Please do not take this the wrong way. I trust Sylver very greatly with her ability to accomplish things and the improvements in my work is in reflection of her own improvements. Syl will eventually get things done, just as I do. The difference is that my work is recyclable and can be reused over and over again. Sylver’s work, on the other hand, cannot be fully recycled. This is something I understand very well and hence why I only hold 30% of the sales (with also the understanding I do not pay for the 6 regions Sylver now owns).
My ultimate problem is that she’ll occasionally disappear and won’t return for an extended period of time. Due to the fact that we only really have 2 other people who can even touch the vendor system interface other than myself, this ends up becoming a situation where the only other higher up person who can do something is me. I have the Fall semester coming up soon and I still have a bit of concern in the back of my mind about if I have to once again babysit the company. College is no easy matter and if Sylver claims that Kinzart is her primary job, then she needs to start treating it like one and try listening to her employees. I’ve recommended several ideas and processes that would ultimately lower how much both Sylver and myself would have to do, but at the moment I feel they’ve just fallen on deaf ears.
I do not hate my job and I definately do not hate Sylver. I highly appreciate her for even allowing me to take part in working for Kinzart as both a programmer and a friend. I value being able to work at the comfort of my own room and desk instead of pushing carts at my local Walmart (which I somehow do not have the qualifications to even work at). I just wish that I could get Sylver to be more responsible with her work and try to take me more seriously so that we can better the business, the people who appreciate Sylver’s art, and ourselves.
2. I want my life back
As my sister made mention, both her and I are at the point where we need to establish our own control on our own lives. My sister now works at the drunk filled spot known at Tomahawk Lake, driving about ten minutes out to go and work. It isn’t a dream job, but it is a job that she’s managed to obtain on her own and while I don’t show it a lot (unless my horrid jokes count), I am really proud of her accomplishments more over my own.
I still have my father on my back about a lot of things, and any time I try to disagree or not meet his standards, I’m just threatened to be kicked out of the house. Granted there is my mother’s house I can go to, which I have many times, but for me to move all my equipment would be a large bother to everyone, and that is perhaps the main reason I just begin to stay quite when things get intense.
My sister has made mention I should consider to pay a rent fee, which I have no arguments over. It would mean that I am contributing to the house and also any bills associated with it, which I do not feel would make my father complain about in any way. It would also mean that if he wanted to kick me out, he’d have to understand the loss of funding that goes towards the already large house bill. At this time, I am already paying for car insurance, the internet, and the text messaging services of my phone. While the total is not a concern of anyone, it isn’t very high, so for me to pay rent I have no problem agreeing with. The problem is making sure they do not try any funny business with taking advantage of it.
3. Recent events
Not fully known by many people, even close friends, but my grandmother passed away last month prior to my departure to Anthrocon 2011. My family was well aware of her weakened state due to her recent cancer treatment for something left untouched for many long years as well as the emotional stress of my grandfather passing away also because of cancer, a shock that took us all by surprise, including myself. The constant traveling, first being the trip to Pittsburg and the other to Utah then to Oregon, really has taken a toll on myself and my room reflects upon that. Upon returning home, I find things left unchanged and soon begin to be pestered about cleaning my room. This is something I was already aware had to be done, but I still have yet to fully recover from the lack of sleep and other complications. My bloodshot eyes are proof of this.
I really need another Anthrocon. I really enjoyed being there and away from the normal hassles I have to contend with on a daily basis. Being able to relax, hang out, walk around, and sleep in was a major bonus to myself that I almost feel incomplete without.
4. Unfairness
Just recently I asked why the living room television was still on when we were in the dining room eating dinner. Of course, my grandfather needs to overact like a five year old and began yelling at me how I left things in my room on. Quite frankly, I always turn things off in my room when I leave with exception to the server and my PC. Since I do not turn my PC off, I have it either enter a standby mode or operate in economy mode, in which it lowers power consumption on less important items. I feel insulted every time he accuses me of making the electric bill go up and claims that I am ignorant of my stuff when he is to blame on most cases. I have even purchased a Kill-A-Watt meter and even it agrees that my consumption is very low, only about $20 a month, and that is with me doing everything without changes to my normal routine. If the bill is past $150, and I am only utilizing $20 (give or take another $10 for the servers), I am not even occupying 25% of the bill, considering there are 4 people in the house.
It is completely unfair to be disrespected and told I am a liar, even when I go out of my own way to provide additional utilities that are needed for safety reasons (an updated first aid kit, lights for the stairs, an emergency night light for power outages, and even wire holders to keep the network cables off the floor).
Ultimately, I am just so tired and annoyed with my current situation where feeling happy is something that I can only really dream of, if I ever did have any dreams to begin with.
-Flame
(SAUCE: http://flamesoulis.tumblr.com/post/.....373/debatable)
I guess I should write down a few reasons behind why I feel this way:
1. I cannot rely on my boss too well
Please do not take this the wrong way. I trust Sylver very greatly with her ability to accomplish things and the improvements in my work is in reflection of her own improvements. Syl will eventually get things done, just as I do. The difference is that my work is recyclable and can be reused over and over again. Sylver’s work, on the other hand, cannot be fully recycled. This is something I understand very well and hence why I only hold 30% of the sales (with also the understanding I do not pay for the 6 regions Sylver now owns).
My ultimate problem is that she’ll occasionally disappear and won’t return for an extended period of time. Due to the fact that we only really have 2 other people who can even touch the vendor system interface other than myself, this ends up becoming a situation where the only other higher up person who can do something is me. I have the Fall semester coming up soon and I still have a bit of concern in the back of my mind about if I have to once again babysit the company. College is no easy matter and if Sylver claims that Kinzart is her primary job, then she needs to start treating it like one and try listening to her employees. I’ve recommended several ideas and processes that would ultimately lower how much both Sylver and myself would have to do, but at the moment I feel they’ve just fallen on deaf ears.
I do not hate my job and I definately do not hate Sylver. I highly appreciate her for even allowing me to take part in working for Kinzart as both a programmer and a friend. I value being able to work at the comfort of my own room and desk instead of pushing carts at my local Walmart (which I somehow do not have the qualifications to even work at). I just wish that I could get Sylver to be more responsible with her work and try to take me more seriously so that we can better the business, the people who appreciate Sylver’s art, and ourselves.
2. I want my life back
As my sister made mention, both her and I are at the point where we need to establish our own control on our own lives. My sister now works at the drunk filled spot known at Tomahawk Lake, driving about ten minutes out to go and work. It isn’t a dream job, but it is a job that she’s managed to obtain on her own and while I don’t show it a lot (unless my horrid jokes count), I am really proud of her accomplishments more over my own.
I still have my father on my back about a lot of things, and any time I try to disagree or not meet his standards, I’m just threatened to be kicked out of the house. Granted there is my mother’s house I can go to, which I have many times, but for me to move all my equipment would be a large bother to everyone, and that is perhaps the main reason I just begin to stay quite when things get intense.
My sister has made mention I should consider to pay a rent fee, which I have no arguments over. It would mean that I am contributing to the house and also any bills associated with it, which I do not feel would make my father complain about in any way. It would also mean that if he wanted to kick me out, he’d have to understand the loss of funding that goes towards the already large house bill. At this time, I am already paying for car insurance, the internet, and the text messaging services of my phone. While the total is not a concern of anyone, it isn’t very high, so for me to pay rent I have no problem agreeing with. The problem is making sure they do not try any funny business with taking advantage of it.
3. Recent events
Not fully known by many people, even close friends, but my grandmother passed away last month prior to my departure to Anthrocon 2011. My family was well aware of her weakened state due to her recent cancer treatment for something left untouched for many long years as well as the emotional stress of my grandfather passing away also because of cancer, a shock that took us all by surprise, including myself. The constant traveling, first being the trip to Pittsburg and the other to Utah then to Oregon, really has taken a toll on myself and my room reflects upon that. Upon returning home, I find things left unchanged and soon begin to be pestered about cleaning my room. This is something I was already aware had to be done, but I still have yet to fully recover from the lack of sleep and other complications. My bloodshot eyes are proof of this.
I really need another Anthrocon. I really enjoyed being there and away from the normal hassles I have to contend with on a daily basis. Being able to relax, hang out, walk around, and sleep in was a major bonus to myself that I almost feel incomplete without.
4. Unfairness
Just recently I asked why the living room television was still on when we were in the dining room eating dinner. Of course, my grandfather needs to overact like a five year old and began yelling at me how I left things in my room on. Quite frankly, I always turn things off in my room when I leave with exception to the server and my PC. Since I do not turn my PC off, I have it either enter a standby mode or operate in economy mode, in which it lowers power consumption on less important items. I feel insulted every time he accuses me of making the electric bill go up and claims that I am ignorant of my stuff when he is to blame on most cases. I have even purchased a Kill-A-Watt meter and even it agrees that my consumption is very low, only about $20 a month, and that is with me doing everything without changes to my normal routine. If the bill is past $150, and I am only utilizing $20 (give or take another $10 for the servers), I am not even occupying 25% of the bill, considering there are 4 people in the house.
It is completely unfair to be disrespected and told I am a liar, even when I go out of my own way to provide additional utilities that are needed for safety reasons (an updated first aid kit, lights for the stairs, an emergency night light for power outages, and even wire holders to keep the network cables off the floor).
Ultimately, I am just so tired and annoyed with my current situation where feeling happy is something that I can only really dream of, if I ever did have any dreams to begin with.
-Flame
(SAUCE: http://flamesoulis.tumblr.com/post/.....373/debatable)
